


Is it better to speak or to die?

by GOLDENCLOUDS



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 3/4 is non smut, Amalfi Coast, Based on Call Me By Your Name, Cmbyn-inspired, First Love, First Time, Fluffy Smut, Harry as a college student, Harry lives in the U.S, Internalized Homophobia, Kind off slow build, Louis as a songwriter, Louis has a wonderful family, Louis is younger, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Not canon-compliant, SPOTIFY PLAYLIST IS LINKED BELOW, Soulmates Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, cute larry, from the dining table references, harry is british, italy-larry, just read the summary it's self-explanatory, louis is british-italian, louis is elio, mentions of Harry's past, mentions of a toxic family, mentions of ftdt, no other real characters (sorry!), no peach scene, no weird age gap, old vibes mixed with modern language, only a few chapters will contain smut, sappy fic, soft louis, summer 1985, use of italian words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:22:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GOLDENCLOUDS/pseuds/GOLDENCLOUDS
Summary: Summer 1985, 18-year old Louis Tomlinson spends his summers in his family's residence on the Amalfi Coast in Italy. Being forced into songwriting by his professional dad, he loses hope into finding his own reasons to write.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm trying to do this real quick because I know you're excited to read this (At least i hope). I started this fanfic with the idea of following the whole Call me by your name-canon-compliant storyline, but it didn't feel personal enough so I started changing some things to the story. It's still based off the storyline because I do follow the most important scenes and basic plots, but don't worry about already knowing the end of the story, because I can promise you i am changing A LOT :)!! I also read the two most popular larry fanfics and wanted mine to have the same kind of vibes. so if you guys liked young and beautiful or tired tired sea, this one could be fun :) Also for my fellow fanfic readers who love to listen to music that relates to the story, i'm putting a link to my spotify playlist with songs that helped me in the writing process!! You can listen to the playlist: [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3TvAHLmtNDzhHJBUKdYZzv?si=_ZiNIyOAR52vTJgt3RrLQw) . My twitter handle is @GHOSTlN91(The i in ghostin is a lower caps L !!) so if you'd like to ask something, or if you want to be in an update groupchat i would love to talk to you all!! Also, if you enjoyed the story, please share it with your fanfic moots because i'd love to meet new people :)  
> Anyways, here we go!! it's going to be a ride for the both of us, I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do.  
> (Please note that I'm not from an English-speaking country so I might make small mistakes, sorry!)  
> I love you all :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ link to my spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3TvAHLmtNDzhHJBUKdYZzv?si=Fct_baVoS-Odoyibcp8MDg)
> 
> This is a short intro chapter

The warmest summer of the eighties finally started to show its true colours. June started to fade into July and Louis Tomlinson still hasn’t wrote anything yet. His dad says his summers were always the busiest, worried about having too many songs to write. Louis is finally old enough to write about mature things, about heartbreaks, about his love for women, his love for discovering new things. But he can’t find anything more than a few guitar chords and his notebook full of rubbish. The foreign student is on his way and he promised his dad he would have at least written one song.

Every summer, his family gets to invite a college student and teach them the last few steps before running into the music industry. They get a free place to stay and eat in exchange of them helping Louis’ dad with his old record label. The students were always remarkably busy, not paying any attention to what Louis ever said or did. Louis is the one who gets the opportunity to make the final decision of who gets to be their student. The decision was always quite easy to take, he just chose who looked the most appealing for the job. He started noticing he preferred choosing boys around the age of 16,

but nope. It’s not like that. There is no meaning behind it. Nor will there ever be.

-

This year’s student comes from America and Louis hates it. Their bratty voices, how they feel the need to talk about how great America is every single minute, the way they love overaccentuating British accents. But this student didn’t look American, didn’t give louis the feeling he would ignore him. His profile looked genuine and honest. Most of his dad’s students were selfish, trying to make the summer go by as fast as possible. They took away louis’ friends, louis’ plans and they didn’t care. 

And then there’s Agnesia. Louis always longed for the summer, summers where they would finally leave Britain’s dark, grey skies. She was the perfect escape for the dull and repetitive life louis lived in Doncaster. She was the perfect muse, her hands, soft as a peach untangling her brown, delicate hair. Her eyes, turning greener every time he purred her little nonsenses into her small ears. She was only a year younger, but the way her body curved into perfect, round curves made louis forget about how monotonous his life was. They would spend their summers flirting, hanging out and partying. Yet nothing ever happened between them, what can partly explain why louis still hasn’t found inspiration to write yet. She WAS his muse; he just hasn’t found his reasons to write about her yet.

“Louis?!?”, her voice made her sound very annoyed yet playful. “hmm? I agree with what you were saying. Yes, Florence should stop talking about how lonely she feels. You are not her therapist, she’ll find love soon. From what I know our new college student is single and looks forward to finding himself a 19-year old to have a summer fling with,”

Florence was Agnesia’s best friend. Last summer, the three of them hung out almost every day. It got quite messy after a while, when Louis started to hang out a little bit more with Agnesia. He always suspected Florence of liking him, but she never admitted anything.

“He’s American, he probably fantasises about young Italian girls. Wouldn’t surprise me if these two ended up snogging in my bed”.

Because yes, Louis even had to give the students his own room, he’s a nice lad, he says.

“You’re right. I think it’s finally time for those college students to be our friends. We’re almost the same age as them”.

They end up hanging in louis’ cleaned room for a few hours, waiting for the daily riposino to end. The perfect afternoon naps for when the world is silent. People sleep, take a break from their busy, overblown lives. It’s louis’ favourite moment of the day.

He mostly reads his favourite Italian book La Divina commedia, listening to some Bach, because yes, louis has an old soul. The eighties announced a few new inventions, making life easier for the newer generations. His favourite neighbour, Vimini, invited him numerous times for her daily arcade runs. He never agreed to go though, thinking arcades are for kids and will only push his writing time down. As if he really puts his precious time into songwriting.

-

Around 4pm Louis hears a car rattling, a sound that announced the student’s arrival.

“ _lo studente è arrivato_.”

Louis rushes downstairs, leaving Agnesia befuddled in the bedroom. His mom and dad have already welcomed their new guest, all three drinking a cup of Louis’ favourite British Chai. The student stands up at the sight of Louis and starts greeting him.

“And I suppose this is Louis, right? Hello then, I heard you’re giving up your own room for me. That’s nice, thank you.”

Hearing his almost completely faded British accent, Louis understands the exchange student isn’t American. Thank god. At the sound of his own breath of relief Louis finally wakes up from his own thoughts.

“Well it’s not like I really had a say in this decision”, looking right into the direction of his father’s death stare. The student, quite annoyed and lost for words, releases a small grin, eyes looking somewhat emotionless.

“Doesn’t mean I’m against sharing and caring though, I’m sorry. I’ll show you around, follow me.” At his words, the student follows him and takes his bags with him. Louis takes his guest upstairs, seeing Agnesia heading out.

“Are you leaving?”, Louis asks.

“I am, Florence called me. Time I start being the therapist again. I’ll see you later, have fun” She greets the guest and leaves.

“Sorry for that”, Louis claims, “People often come here randomly since our family literally invites every stranger in. That was Agnesia, we hang out most of the time, so you’ll get to see her frequently.” It struts Louis how he didn’t claim her as his’ already. Usually, when the student is a young white male, he immediately snaps at them to back off. Guess he’ll have to do that soon enough.

“Anyways, here’s your room. We must share a bathroom and a balcony though. Hope you won’t mind, … What is your name again?”, Louis doesn’t remember the guest properly introducing himself.

“Harry, Harry styles.”

God his name is such a cliché. It doesn’t surprise Louis that this man wants to become a famous record label owner.

“Well, welcome Harry. I’ll let you get comfortable in your new room, we’ll see you at dinner”

“Thank you. I’ll see you around, later”.

-

Louis decides to work on his song writing while waiting for dinner. He transcribes and translates songs from his favourite Italian artists, trying to understand how they found a way to pour their hearts out on a song. But he can’t get the name of the new guest out of his head.

“Harry Styles, a name made to make fun of, please. His name just screams celebrity”

Suddenly, it’s 7pm and as per usual, he gets called for dinner. He approaches Harry’s, or should he still say his? bedroom door.

“We’re being called for dinner”,

no response.

Weird.

He decides to knock and again, no response. Fuck it, let’s just open the door, he should’ve answered if he wanted a bit of privacy. Louis enters the room and sees Harry, sleeping, looking extremely exhausted. He decides to just leave him there, doesn’t want to seem intrusive.

-

It’s already late in the morning when Harry finally gets out of his room and joins the family for breakfast.

“Ciao quelle nuevo!”, louis’ mother looks exceptionally thrilled to see Harry, “Have you finally rested enough?” Her voice already giving off she’ll be like a second mother to him.

“I have, the beds here are extremely luxurious. Thank you.”

Why does he always have to thank everyone so much? Come on. Louis notices Harry staring at him but he continues eating his eggs. He can’t have anyone disturb him from his favourite morning habits.

“Also, I wondered if there’s a bank somewhere near this place. I would like to open an account here”, as much as Louis wants to ignore him, he has promised he would be the perfect host, so he decides to guide Harry around.

“I can take him to Pompei, dad. I think their bank is still open”, Louis proposes, Pompei being one of his favourite cities. “Okay, do that son, I’ll try to do some early paperwork before Harry and I start working.”

“Alright, I’ll give him one of Vimini’s bikes, I’m sure she won’t mind”. Louis is softly grinning because he for sure knows she’ll yell at him soon.

They both leave, heading directly to Pompei. Louis proposed to show Harry around, wanting to spend just a little more time with him. Harry is still a little bit quiet, giving his full attention to Louis, looking him straight in the eyes every time he speaks. Louis shows him the best book shops, cafés, casinos, and his favourite piazzetta Amalfi Square. The small square is full of ice-cream shops and different kinds of street musicians. It’s everyone’s favourite place, especially his friend groups’. His best friend Stan once threw a random party in here, inviting every tourist to dance with him. Crazy, crazy lad.

They sit down for a small break and order drinks when Harry finally starts talking.

“So, what does one do around here?”, he curiously asks.

“Wait for summer to end”, Louis jokingly says. Harry smiles. Louis notices how incredibly beautiful his white, naturally straight teeth are shaped for the first time. Harry’s wide-open smile makes Louis feel relief, some kind of sign that shows Harry is alive.

“And what does one do when it’s winter then, wait for summer to come?”, Harry replies, looking overly amused.

“Well, we don’t really spend our winters here, it gets quite… well… dead. We usually spend it in Doncaster with the rest of our family. But sometimes, when we do stay on the coast, I just transcribe music, work on my song writing and read even more books”.

Harry finally looks up at Louis, eyes widening for the first time. “You’re a song writer?”, he asks.

“Me dad got me into it, he taught me the basics and told me I have to learn the rest all on my own. I’ve been struggling lately though, can’t seem to find what genre fits me”.

Harry’s mind has already wondered off somewhere else when he packs to leave: “Well, I hope you’ll find it out soon.”

Louis, completely bewildered, drinks the last few sips of his Americano and rushes to his bike, joining Harry. “I hope so too, I guess I’ll find it out this summer. Some things are starting to inspire me”, he says, breathing heavily. His attempt at gaining Harry’s attention didn’t work. He’s already on his bike, prepared to leave.

“That’s great. Well, I’ll see you around”. And suddenly, Harry is gone.

-

For the next few days, Harry and Louis don’t really speak together. They both get up early in the morning, join each other for a long morning jog session and leave for their both very different routines. Harry helps his dad at the label, consults artists, PR-experts and prints out contracts. When he has a day off, he’s always off wandering somewhere. Louis never really sees Harry, since Harry always kindly informs he’ll skip dinner. It kills louis’ mind obsessing over where Harry could be. Rumour has it that he started hanging out with Florence, just like he predicted. Agnesia is quite happy about it, she started being even more clingy, hanging out almost every day with Louis. He should be happy about it. It’s all he ever wanted after all, but something just doesn’t feel right for Louis and he can’t figure it out yet. It’s not about Harry though, that he can confirm. Harry is nothing more than just a guest.

Louis started writing again, but this time he can’t make a melody out of his thoughts. He writes down whatever runs through his mind. Last night, Louis started writing down silence everywhere. It’s a word he can’t get out, a word with so much meaning, so much different feelings. It’s a word that puts him in a comfortable, safe place. After a few hours of reflection, Louis decides to keep this idea for his next project.

It’s when Louis finally puts his notebook down that he realises Harry is finally back home. He invites him to swim in the lake right next to their home. Louis had enough time to find a million questions in his mind to ask Harry. Today is the day he finally gets to learn more about him. They both walk to the lake, 5 feet apart, very silently. But again, Louis enjoys the silence. He’s so used to hearing Agnesia talk about everything that goes through her mind that he enjoys his time with Harry just a little bit more.

“So, Harry, how’s your life back in America? I noticed you had a faded British accent”, Louis asks after a while. Harry smirks lightly but still keeps his emotions a little bit to himself.

“I moved to the US to study. I used to live with my family in Cheshire, but I soon realised that it couldn’t give me more opportunities than just having a calm life. My mom and sister didn’t understand at first, they completely stopped talking to me for a while. They thought I was ashamed of who I was, ashamed of my roots. They contacted me a few months ago but things still haven’t really come back to how they were, you know? And they just couldn’t accept who I was becoming, couldn’t accept it all”, he stopped talking for a few seconds, just looking straight into louis’ eyes, “But anyways, I think it’s time I get back to my old habits. I will see you at dinner”, Harry gets out of the water and immediately puts his clothes back on, not caring about how wet he still is.

-

That same day louis starts overthinking. What did he ever do to Harry? Why is he always so secretive and so closed-off? The only reason he can find is that Harry doesn’t like him, and he’s okay with that. He’s okay with having to deal with a guest that doesn’t want to hang out with him, it’s not like he’s the first one. Louis often gets rejected by the guests, often gets told to leave them alone. He decides to stop reaching out for Harry. If he wants to do his summer internship alone, hanging out with Florence alone, then he’ll do that. Louis will mind his own business and enjoy his own summer with Agnesia.

Harry gets back earlier than all the other days and starts sunbathing in what he so quickly named ‘his own little heaven’. Funny enough, Louis was already playing some music on his guitar next to that same place and he didn’t feel like moving away. Harry seems to ignore him completely but louis doesn’t let it his pride be destroyed by someone so selfish and ill-mannered. This isn’t about Harry anymore; Louis has to focus on himself rather than a stranger he met a week ago.

As he tries to focus on a life before he ever met Harry, he starts playing ‘Every Breathe You Take’. The police has always been his favourite band, being the only band that creates songs that put him in a right place. He’s completely focused on playing the melody that he doesn’t realise Harry stopped sunbathing and started sitting on a bench, listening to Louis. When the song is finally over, Louis puts his guitar away and starts writing in his notebook again.

“Play that again, will you?”

Harry looks relaxed, as if one song could’ve changed him that much. Louis feels like he is being used as entertainment and he doesn’t like it. It’s time Harry shows a little bit more interest and effort. Louis gets up and asks Harry to follow him. As they both walk into the living room, Louis starts playing an altered version of the melody.  
“No, no, play the other one again”

“What do you mean? I am playing the same melody” He likes seeing the annoyances on Harry’s face.

“Please, just play what you were playing a few minutes ago.”

“Alright”, and again, he plays an even weirder alternated version.

“Forget I asked, Louis”, Harry says as he gets up, when louis finally plays the right melody. He puts his hands on the top of the piano, looking down at how louis plays. His facial expressions finally loosening up, as if he understood he doesn’t have to think about every move he does when he’s around him. Harry feels safe, comfortable and at peace. As Louis looks up at him, he notices Harry’s beautiful features. His silky curls, bouncing after every time Harry moves his head from side to side, the brown completely contrasting his pale face and green, radiant eyes. Every feature of his face just makes sense when he’s looking at him. They sit there, Louis playing the song on repeat while Harry hums the melody right next to him for a few minutes.

Perhaps Harry doesn’t hate him as much as Louis thought he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this chapter ends on a weird note, but it will make more sense in the next few chapters! My first two chapters are quite short so it's easy to read and try to see if you like the story :) Tell me what you thought about it on twitter :) Again, my handle is @GHOSTIN91 (with the i being a lowercaps L). Thank you so much for reading this :)


	2. Chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for coming back! Again, this chapter is pretty short compared to what's following but it's a very vital chapter as I'm starting to include more depth into characters! I didn't really like my first chapter but all I can say is that i am starting to like what I'm doing from here :)  
> I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Again, don't be shy to tell me your thoughts on twitter or in the comments, i love you all!
> 
> ALSO QUICK PSA!!: Yes, Harry's "love" interest is called Florence, BUT SHE IS NOT INSPIRED OFF FLORENCE PUGH FROM DWD!! I started writing this before it really got confirmed so I didn't think a second about putting her into this. If you want to imagine her as his love interest for visual looks, I'll let you guys imagine it. But in my head Florence is a brunette :)

The next few days, Harry’s missing again. They’d eventually see each other early in the morning, when Harry is helping louis’ dad with his annoying clients. He’d hear him scream to bratty celebrities on the phone, completely fonding over how he mockingly repeats the clients when they’d hang up. Harry never asked Louis to play him songs again, never listened to his new, altered version of The Police’s new album. But it was understandable, he was busy.

The distress on Louis’ face didn’t go by unnoticed. Agnesia started asking him questions, questions to which he always replied, “I’m just tired, it’s been a long day”.

After a few lonely nights, Louis decides to go out with his friends. They’d all meet up at _Divertente_ , where one of the best parties were being held. They started smoking, drinking, and telling each other all of the dirty gossip that’s been going around in the village. Louis was having fun, completely forgetting what he had been mourning on for the last 4 days, when Harry decided to show up.

“Mister Harry, there you are”, they all started chanting his name as if he was a superstar, “We’ve been waiting for you, where’s Florence?”

What a surprise, Harry was hanging out with her, again.

“She’s at the bar, she’s buying us some drinks. My treat.”

He started to see through things, analysing everything Harry did. For example, his three different coloured bathing suits. Harry wore a colour based on his mood, choosing red for his open, horny, freaky days… of course. Green for when he was sad and asocial. But blue was Louis’ favourite. He wore blue on the days where they would hang out together, days where both were silent, enjoying each other’s company.

When Florence joined the group, everyone started heading to the dancefloor.

“Are you coming, Louis? It’s your favourite song”, Agnesia wanted to dance with him.

“I think I’ll join in later, I’m finishing my drink first”, he replies quickly.

Harry was already dancing, letting all his issues go, being completely free. Louis could look at this Harry for hours, a Harry that wasn’t constantly thinking about every sentence or move. Suddenly, people started slow dancing. Florence joined Harry as they started to come closer to each other. Louis didn’t want to look at them, didn’t want to feel like he should be there too, dancing with Agnesia. He couldn’t put a name on his feeling. He felt like something was wrong, like something was crushing his heart. But he decided to ignore it. He likes Agnesia, she likes him and that’s it. He stood up, locked eyes with her and started heading towards her. This was his night, the night where him and Agnesia would finally hit it off.

As the clock ticked midnight, people started to go home. Louis greeted his tired, drunk friends, leaving only him, Agnesia, Harry and Florence. Agnesia invited everyone to the ice cream parlour around the corner. Harry ordered his favourite Christmas-pudding flavoured ice cream as Florence was hanging on his free arm with both of hers. They became so intimate with each other, having serious conversations whilst still laughing about stupid things together.

Did he really think Louis wasn’t mature for him enough? He bets that’s why they don’t hang out together. Florence is only a year older, but she always behaves so mature when she’s around older boys. Louis knew she didn’t want him around when she snappingly asked why they’re still up.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime, Louis?”

“My father doesn’t do bedtimes”, Louis repulses.

Florence smirked, a sign that she was about to say something viscous: “How cute, a little boy with no rules, no supervision, no strict parents. No wonder he isn’t rebellious.”

“We all have our own ways of rebelling, Florence. No need to act all mature when were only one year apart”, Louis wasn’t taking all of her shit.

“True, he listens to Bach AND Queen”, Harry broke in, trying to clear the air.

“Who?” Florence asked because, as Italian as she is, she probably not heard about Queen yet. Louis smirked at Harry, trying to decipher him. Harry cut his glance off, trying to seem unbothered but as soon as he looked away, a small smirk was visible.

Whose side was he on?

As Florence and Agnesia started gossiping together, leaving Louis and Harry alone, the then so comfortable silence turned into a weird, indescribable silence. It seemed like both wanted to say something, but not a single word came out of their mouths. Louis started brambling good stuff about Florence, trying to get to know why they were so close with each other.

“I think you should stop, Louis, you’re completely on the wrong track” Harry was annoyed, he didn’t want this conversation to happen.

“What do you mean, wrong track?”

“Well, I’m not interested.”

Was he not interested in having this conversation or in her? He continued talking, answering the question louis had in mind:

“I know everyone’s interested in her, she’s beautiful, but I’m not interested”.

But it still didn’t make sense to Louis, so he continued, “But I saw you two today, you both looked so happy.”

“What you saw was none of your business Louis, may I remind you I’m just an exchange student trying to have a fun Italian summer?” His gaze was menacing and cold, “If you want her, you should try. I know you like her”, his gaze suddenly changed into something more fragile, trying to break into louis’ mind. Why was he so intrigued in what Louis wanted?

“You have no idea what I like, no idea”

Did louis even know what he liked?

“Are you trying to make me like her?”, Harry asked, completely ignoring what Louis said.

“What would be the harm in that?”

“No harm, but I’d like to sort it all out myself, if you don’t mind”. Why does Harry’s mood always change so suddenly? He always switches up between being shy and cold.

“Look, don’t take this personal, Louis. It’s nice of you, but just don’t. Don’t try to play the nice host with me. I don’t like this fake persona of you, not at all”

What was he talking about?

Florence probably felt how heavy the air between them was and started talking to Harry again. She was all over him. She was so selfish, always talking about how annoying and difficult her life is, not letting Harry say anything. Louis didn’t like her bratty tone, but since Harry wanted to remind Louis that it was none of his business, he let it go.

“Harry, Agnesia and I were talking, and I think it’s better if we split up. We can give Louis and Agnesia some time alone so they can figure stuff out on their own. Let’s go”, she immediately grabbed Harry’s arm and started running off to a different alley. Harry looked back, trying to say sorry to Louis for behaving so harshly, but started running away with Florence.

Agnesia looked at Louis: “We should go to the lake, I heard it’s even prettier when nobody’s around. We can finally have some privacy.” He agreed and they grabbed their bikes, heading to the lake.

“Are you mad at Florence?”, Agnesia asked “No, why should I be mad at her?” “I don’t know, maybe because things are heating up between her and Harry?” “No, no, I’m not mad at all. I don’t like her in that way, plus, I’m here with you now. That’s all I want.”

Agnesia smiles, takes her clothes off and reveals her perfectly shaped body that Louis idolized for so long. They both swim in the lake before falling asleep together on the grass.

-

“We almost did it last night”, louis claims the next morning at breakfast. Harry looks up, his stare being almost as cold as yesterday but also very intrigued.

“Then why didn’t you do it?”, his father asks.

“ I don’t know, it didn’t feel right at the time”, Louis looks over at Harry, insinuating she didn’t feel right, but he doesn’t look back. Instead, he focuses on the paper he’s reading and tells Louis to “Try again later”. He was making fun of Louis, mocking him on the discussion they had yesterday. Try again later started running miles in louis’ head. Why was Harry so proud of his answer? Louis didn’t like it.

Harry’s absence started feeling wrong. Louis started worrying every night, trying to figure out why he always returned so late. Was he in trouble? Were his late evening walks unvoluntary? Was he out having fun with Florence again? Was she doing something to him that he didn’t want? Was he healthy? Safe? His questions remained unanswered as Louis couldn’t ask them to anyone. Who would he even tell? His friends would desert him, telling him he shouldn’t be obsessed over the life of a 21-year-old. His parents would tell him to mind his business, they idolized him. To his parents, Harry was the perfect student. Louis understood how his parents felt, they couldn’t be happier with a student like him. He helped his dad with all of the paperwork, answered every annoying phone call, transferred e-mails to other producers. What happened in his personal life wasn’t important to his parents, they ‘let the youth do what the youth wants to do’.

But Louis didn’t even know if he wanted his questions to be answered.

He started writing again, starting off with silence. His notebook was now filled with all the questions he ever wanted to ask Harry.

“Why won’t you talk to me”

“Please just tell me what’s up with you”

“Do you even think I’m worth talking to”

“Are you okay”

“Why are you like this”

“Why won’t you ever say what you want to say”<> But none of them have been answered since Harry first entered Louis’ home three weeks ago. Harry had already spent the half of his stay in louis’ room, with no answers.

The weekly volleyball games in louis’ garden were always the perfect moment to catch up with all the teenagers of the village. This time, Harry joined them. The girls were all drooling over how fantastic he was, how talented he is in everything he does. When he finally decides to let the other guys play, he’s back at reading his paperwork. Nobody was around him, not even Florence. His mind, on the contrary, looked preoccupied. Louis decides to sit next to him, testing out if Harry likes it when Louis is around.

“Take a look at this Louis. Would you, imagine yourself as a soon-to-be producer, like to read this? Does it make sense to you what I wrote? Because my head keeps telling me it doesn’t.”

“Well, if your mind told you it made sense when you wrote it, you should stop overthinking”, Louis answered softly. There was something in Harry’s insecurities that Louis liked. A vulnerability he hadn’t discovered yet. Harry trusted him with something HE wrote.

“Thank you. That’s the kindest thing I’ve heard in months”, Harry sounded so… nice? Louis didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how he should react to this side of Harry. He got so used to a cold stare that every nice word sounded like rose petals falling on the floor. He was so genuinely happy with what Louis said. 

“Kind?”

“Yes. kind. I’m used to people telling me my writing’s shit. My professors often cussed me out of class because they thought I ‘wrote like a stupid brit’. So yes, thank you for being kind.” Louis loved it when Harry was the one breaking the silence. It felt like he wanted to talk to Louis, like Louis was worth talking to.

Agnesia joined them.

“Harry, the boys are asking you to come play again, are you coming?”, she asks, knowing she’s disturbing our conversation. “I am”, he drops all of his stuff on the floor and immediately screams “il capo è tornato” to the guys who are waiting for him. “Should we take a break from all of the noise here?”, Agnesia asked, “Yeah, whatever”, Louis doesn’t look as pleased as he should. He just wanted to talk to Harry.

“What were you reading before I came?”, Agnesia asked, referring to Harry’s paperwork.

“Oh, nothing, just some poems from Dante”

“Do you really like to read that much? I mean don’t get me wrong, but it’s the 80s. People have other stuff to do. Going to the arcades, to the movies, listening to music. People who read are now so secretive about it. Nobody ever admits it anymore”, it looks like she had a lot of things to say, “People who read just hide stuff about themselves, they keep their own mind so… private?”

“I don’t know Agnesia, do you hide who you are?”

“I mean yes, or no, I don’t hide things about me, but with you… I kind of do”

“How come? Why would you ever have to hide something from me?”

“Because I’m scared Louis, scared to open up about things to you, scared you’ll break my heart. I genuinely think you’re a nice person, but you’re just so confusing sometimes” 

Oh.

Louis never noticed how his manners towards Agnesia looked exactly like Harry’s manners. “You confuse me, Louis. You’re all over the place. Nobody ever knows where you are and what you’re thinking about. It scares me.”

Louis stopped and stared at Agnesia. She looked so beautiful, so unguarded, so open. He leaned over and started kissing her lightly. Her lips were soft, scented with a perfectly balanced mix of her cherry-flavoured lip balm and her strawberry-flavoured lipgloss. Louis was running his hands through her soft brown hair. She started pulling him closer, showing him how much she wanted him. He could feel how happy she was, her breath of relief confirming it. When he wanted to let go, she pulled him closer to her mouth again, insinuating how much she longed for this. He could feel how her whole body tingled, his frame against hers, fingers entwined as if they were meant for each other. That’s how she felt. The kiss lasted longer than Louis thought it would, but he enjoyed it. He loved being around her.

When they come back after a few minutes of walking hand in hand, Harry looks like he’s been searching for Louis. “There you are, could you grab me some water, Louis?”, it wasn’t what Louis expected but he’s okay with it. Harry chugs the bottle of water before staring at Louis’ naked shoulders. “You look uncomfortable, let me handle it”, he squeezed his thumbs into Louis’ shoulders and starts making circular movements. Louis couldn’t understand what was happening and started detaching himself from Harry’s hands.

“Oh, did I hurt you or something?”, Harry worryingly asked.

“No, it’s just… your hands are cold”, of course he lied. This was the first time Harry touched him, but why did Louis react like this? It wasn’t even a sensitive spot, nor was it intimate. But why did it feel like it was? Louis felt so starstruck, was it because of his first kiss with Agnesia or because of Harry?

“Sorry for my cold hands, Agnesia, can you come and help me here? Just take your thumb and massage it right here, Louis has to relax more”, Harry leaves and let’s Agnesia touch Louis’ shoulder. Her hands were even colder than Harry’s, but he didn’t react anymore.

-

That same night, when everyone including Harry left, it started raining. Louis decided to do some research for his song writing in his dad’s library when he stumbled upon a book he had never read. The story, as cliché as it is, looked interesting and Louis had decided to read it.

A handsome young knight falls madly in love with one of his handmaids. He knows he can’t ever be with her because she doesn’t live the same life as he does. His thoughts are killing him. When he’s 18, he is forced to marry one of the princesses of his country in order to become a king. But he can’t get her out of his head. She too is in love with him, but the friendship between them seems to be more likely to work. One night, before he heads off to his new castle, he meets up with her. Being totally unable to express his love for her he simply asks: “Is it better to speak or to die?” as to which she never replies. Leaving both the knight and Louis confused.

Somehow Louis gets reminded of Harry. Would he rather tell him everything that goes through his mind or just die? Louis couldn’t bare Harry’s cold gaze any longer. Telling Harry how he feels about him would just make it worse, he would hate him for his feelings.

“What are you reading?”, a raspy familiar voice asks, it’s Harry’s. “let me guess, the knight and the handmaid?”, How did he know? 

“the- yes, how did you know?”

“It’s my book, I left it there a few nights ago when I didn’t feel like sleeping, … great book”

“It is, I really loved the open ending, leaving the reader o-“

“open to their own interpretation, yeah, it’s amazing”, Harry cuts Louis off but he doesn’t mind. He likes it when Harry completes his sentences, makes him feel like they’re somehow connected.

“So”, Harry continues, “did he speak?”

“I was thinking about that actually, right before you entered the room. I think his question was the speaking. He let her know that whatever he wanted to say would be worse than to die”, Harry was so focused on what Louis had to say, for the first time in so long, he was at peace again, he was himself. “, asking that question was already insinuating that he wanted to let her know something. Something that he was so scared to tell her, so scared that he’d rather die than tell her. He knows their love is impossible, knows a life with or without her would lead to death.”

As Louis finishes his rant, he sees Harry, still focused on Louis, smile. It doesn’t look like a fake smile, nor like a happy one, he just… smiles.

“Glad to know we’re on the same page here”, he says as he leaves and closes the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading til the end! The real chapters will start from now on so be prepared to read just a little bit more than for these two chapters :) I hope you guys liked it, especially since i included some big cmbyn references ;) 
> 
> Don't forget to tell me what you thought about it, i'm really curious!!  
> Also!! Chapter three is my favourite yet, I put in a lot of research on the 80s in italy and i really enjoyed putting in small references of 80s songs and books :)


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BACK  
> I know that the two first chapters were kind of fast but that was because i had just started writing for the first time and I was pretty insecure about the story. With chapter three I can assure you that it's getting better. I give more depth to Louis' life in this one before i start unpacking Harry's.. so enjoy!!
> 
> again  Here's the link to my spotify playlist if you haven't put it in your library yet, I recommend you to do it because I might forget to link it in my chapters.
> 
> Enjoy this one, it's a very light hearted one for the most of it.  
> I love you all!

Harry started growing on Louis, they started having the same routines over and over again. They wake up and join each other, just like the first days, for a morning jog. But this time they don’t leave each other. They eat breakfast with Louis’ family and they both work together in the same room. Louis’ song writing hasn’t really hit it off yet, but since Harry has so many stories to tell he just writes them on his notebook, hoping they’d help him one day.

Harry mostly talks about the annoying American students he had to work with. He loves over-exaggerating on how obsessed they were with his British accent and how he got obsessed with mocking them. But sometimes, Harry has his green-bathingsuit-days. Days where he’d be completely silent, eyebrows raised as if someone told him something upsetting. On those days, Harry would tell one little story of his life at home. Louis felt bad, but he liked those stories the most and it made him long for more of these green-bathingsuit-days. Louis couldn’t place a feeling on how Harry talked about his mom and sister.

It felt like he was homesick, but that somehow, he knew he could never go back. Most of his stories were about his childhood, how caring his mom was and how she would never judge him for anything. “She was always there for me, she caught every tear I shed and always gave me the advice I needed the most. I couldn’t wish for a better mom, Louis”, his voice breaking a little. Louis wanted to ask what happened between them, knowing that him moving to the U.S couldn’t be the main reason he lost his perfect relationship with his mom. But Louis knew he’d touch a very sensitive spot in Harry’s heart, a spot he didn’t think he deserved touching. 

So Louis tries to soften the mood, “I’m sure you couldn’t. She seems like a lovely woman, Harry. She turned a little boy into a very wise and genuine man. I’m sure she’s proud of who you’ve become”. But the atmosphere didn’t change, Harry was still cold, almost trying to escape the room they were in. 

“If you say so. I have to call a few clients, I’ll let you work on your song writing. I’ll see you later”

Louis always got so annoyed when Harry greeted him with his “ _later_ ”. He even spoke about it to his mom one day, when his cousins were invited. “Mom, don’t you think Harry sounds a little bit…impudent when he says ‘later’?” 

“I think it’s funny, Louis. He’s a British man, who loves mocking Americans, yet he uses the most American language he can ever use when he’s around us” 

“But you’ll see mom, at the end of his stay, he will greet us goodbye with his ‘ _later_ ”, louis completely mocks his British-American accent. Why did he get so annoyed at Harry?

“Well Louis, if he does then so be it. For now, we still have to stick with him for three full weeks”.

-

As soon as Harry left, a burst of inspiration sprung out of Louis. He had been thinking about silence for so long that he finally knew he wanted his songs to be based around the different stages of it. The silence everyone wants, the silence everyone enjoys, and the silence nobody wants. He wrote it all on his notebook, a notebook that was already full of things Harry told him or thing that reminded him of Harry. In some way, Harry reminded him silence. The sudden silence between Harry and his mom is a silence nobody wants, a silence you wouldn’t even wish upon your worst enemy. But the silence between Louis and him felt like a silence everybody could enjoy. A silence that made the both of them reflect about things. So louis wrote and wrote about every single thing he had in his mind. For the first time in months, Louis knew what he wanted.

-

Harry had more red-bathingsuit-days than green one’s. On these days, Harry talked about all of the dates he went on, trying to impress Louis with the hearts he broke. He’d also skip dinner and party all night long. Louis started to understand what Harry did at those parties. By the time Harry would return to America, he would have already kissed every 19-year-old girl he could, and Louis was okay with that. Louis would imagine how easy Harry would find a place to spend the night, how many girls he kissed in one night, how good he was in bed. The image he created for Harry amused him, it kept him up at night. It didn’t bother Louis at all to imagine a tall, hallow-cheeked brunette kissing Harry on his well-trained body or on his long, beautiful neck. It didn’t bother him at all, what made him think he worshipped Harry. He wanted to be Harry, being capable of seducing every girl in the village while also staying unbothered. Or did he worship the girls who got to taste Harry? Did Louis want to be the one to lay next to Harry at night or was he the one who wanted to slip into Harry’s body, as if it were his own? 

Perhaps both made him feel things.

-

One evening, Louis spotted Harry, all alone, hanging around in the garden. Perhaps he was stargazing, but Louis decided to join him. 

“Beautiful stars, innit?” 

At the sudden voice of Louis, Harry woke up from his faint thoughts and looked up at Louis, who was standing right in front of him. 

“They are, it amazes me every night how bright they are. Can’t believe you get to live here every summer” 

“You know what they say eh, the secret to luck is to admire without desiring”. Louis’ cheeky response made Harry chuckle, “You know the saying says it’s the secret to happiness and not to luck, right?”. 

“God, Harry, I can’t say anything smart without you proving me completely wrong”. Louis sits next to Harry, trying to hide how cold he is. “I mean, I’m a college student, I have to show what I’m capable of at the end of the day”.

Louis can’t help but admire how much his relationship with Harry’s changed in a week. He notices how long he has been staring at Harry when he finally talks again, 

“Your father said you were the one who chose me. Is that true?” Harry still wasn’t looking at Louis, but it was clear he wasn’t focusing on the stars anymore.

“I did, I actually choose every single student. Since I have to share my bedroom, I get a little privilege”

“Can I ask you why you chose me above everyone else?”

“Dunno really, it was kind of a feeling of common sense. I saw all of the other students’ pictures and thought to myself ‘Why would they deserve to come here over anyone else?’ and you just stood out. For all I know you could be the worst of all of them, but at least I followed my intuition”

“I guess you weren’t wrong for following your intuition then” 

“Maybe, I guess we’ll see if you’re a good choice at the end of your stay”, Louis jokingly said. Harry grinned, this time looking at Louis, “We both know I’m the best guest you ever had, I mean… look at me” And he stood up, twirling around with his arms wide open as if he just bought a new suit. 

“Alright, alright, you confident prick, I think we can at least say you’re the most humble guest we’ve ever had”. Harry started laughing and sat next to Louis again, this time being a little bit closer than before. Louis wasn’t cold anymore, having Harry’s warmth next to him. Louis knew that this moment between him and Harry wasn’t eternal and that he would probably never experience it again, so he enjoyed it as much as he could, knowing the relationship between them would never go further than just friendship. The possibility of something was a thought that Louis put between always and never.

As soon as he sat down again, realising he put himself closer to louis, he continued talking: “You know, being able to come here was the small push I needed to feel confident about myself again”

“Oh really, how so?” 

“Well, I applied for it right after I visited my mom and sister again. They had put me down again, completely drained me. I applied thinking nobody would accept me, so I didn’t really expect anything from it. When your dad called me a few days later I thought it was to tell me in person that I wasn’t worth it. So at first, I didn’t pick up. But then he called me again, and again, and after the third missed call I decided to pick up. So, Louis, thank you, thank you for choosing me. I think it might have saved me”

Louis didn’t expect to hear this from anyone. What Harry said was heavy, but it felt like they had known each other for years, “Nobody should ever even dare to put you down Harry. From what I’ve seen, you’re doing an amazing job and you’re doing it with so much passion. I’m glad I followed my intuition and that I could help you feel better about yourself”

Louis could hear a small, exhaled breath, revealing Harry was holding his tears in.

“How’s your song writing doing?”, Harry attempted to change the subject.

“Actually, it’s not that bad. I’ve started writing a few drafts and concepts. I think my dad will be proud of me soon” 

“I’ve been thinking about your writing and I thought, maybe we could visit your favourite spots tomorrow? It’s common for writers to inspire themselves from their environment”.  
Harry… actually cared about Louis’ songwriting? Nobody ever tried to talk about song writing to Louis, not even Agnesia.

“I mean it’s only a suggestion yo-you don’t have to accept it at all, if you’re busy”, Harry probably got insecure since Louis didn’t reply quickly enough. “No, actually it looks like a great idea. I think I can use some distraction”. 

And like that, they sat next to each other, stargazing, and talking about each other’s childhood.

-

The next morning, at breakfast, Harry asked Louis’ dad if he could take a day off to ‘concentrate on his work’. They filled their bags with food, cigarettes and books and left around 9am. Louis decided to show Harry all of his secret spots, places he never showed anyone. He showed him the old, abandoned train station first. 

“This is a very special place to me, it’s the place where I wrote my first song. It was a shitty song, I must admit. A song about flowers and spring or something, really really bad. Horrible even. I have no idea how an abandoned station could make me write about spring, but at that moment it just all made sense in some way”, Louis felt nostalgic all of a sudden. This didn’t only remind him of his first song, it reminded him of the whole summer he spent here. “It sounds cheesy I know, but this place made me realise I wanted to write songs. It gave me a purpose”. Harry was so focused, listening to everything Louis said. 

“Don’t you think that you should start writing here again? For all you know maybe you’ll write a second version to your shitty flower song”, he beamed. “Oi, only I can call my song shitty. If I could ever produce it, it’ll be a masterpiece of a song, trust me”, Louis started noticing that Harry’s teasing made him blush. “But you have a point there, maybe I should come here to write. Now, let’s go, we have a few other spots to visit.”

And like that Louis shows Harry his favourite beach, his secret park, and his favourite bookshop.   
Louis wanted to get something for Harry, a small thing that Harry could keep forever. Harry was looking around in the bookstore in a way Louis couldn’t focus on his own needs. He looked at the books, read the summary, asked questions to the owner while struggling with his Italian.   
After a while, Louis found what he wanted. He found a poetic novel, _American primitive_ , written by a certain Mary Oliver and after reading a few amazingly written quotes, he knew he had to pick this book.

He opened the page where only one sentence was written,

“How shall I touch you unless it is everywhere?”

And as loud as it already was, Louis asked the owner for a pen and wrote “Us, between always and never, on the Amalfi coast. 1985”.   
Louis closed the book and put it in his backpack. He’d only hand it to Harry at the end of his stay.

-

Louis hadn’t even shown Harry his favourite place yet when Harry suddenly had to leave. He promised Louis they’d continue their tour in a few days, which Louis didn’t really mind. Once he got home, he called Agnesia and arranged a small we’re-just-friends-but-it’s-also-not-platonic-between-us-date. He actually liked hanging out with her, as much as he also enjoyed Harry’s presence. She was really easy to talk to and was quite funny, unlike Florence. 

They met up at _Piaza Duomo_ , danced around with the different musicians and went to the annual fair. He even won a teddy bear for her, being the strong yet soft friend-not-quite-your-boyfriend-guy that he is.

“Where were you this morning? I came over to ask you out and your dad said you left early in the morning”, Agnesia asked worringly, something that quite annoyed Louis. She had to stop being worried about every move.

“Nothing important, just ran a few errands”, Louis said, but that wasn’t enough for her, 

“Oh, you should’ve called me, I could’ve helped you”

“I don’t need help for going to a few places, that looks kind of dumb”, he said, hoping she wouldn’t take his answer as a mean rejection. He brushed the tension off by smirking at her, and she smiled back in response.

“Now if you don’t mind, I’m hungry, and I know a family with a very good restaurant. They also have a very, very pretty girl, which I am now talking to”, he said, referring to Agnesia’s parents’ pasta house. They prepared his favourite kind of carbonara spaghetti, something that always made him happy. 

“You’re a bad charmer, Louis, you really are”, she said, as they walked away from the fair. 

“I won’t say I’m bad nor good, but at least it was smooth. I really just crave your dad’s famous pasta”

-

“ _Louis, ragazzo mio_!”, her father was definitely happy seeing him again. He always had an Italian accent when he spoke English, “So, are you here for your favourite _pasta alla carbonara?_ ” 

“You know me too well, _Signore_ , they’re just addicting. Even me mum can’t make them better than you do” 

“Ok, ok, that’s enough praising, it’s pretty obvious I’m a good cook”, he jokingly said, “I’ll call you guys for dinner soon, I’m just finishing the last few orders”

It was quite calm in the restaurant, something Louis never really experienced. He always visits the restaurant when they’re in the middle of tourist season. He’d chat with the British tourists, flirt with some of the girls he met there, including the cousins of his best friend.

-

“It wasn’t on purpose Stan, how could I know you guys were related? You didn’t even tell me that they were visiting the Amalfi coast. Come on, don’t be a dick, stop ignoring me, we both know it’s a funny situation. It’s not my fault they fell in love with me.” 

With the restaurant being so quiet, Louis realised how quick summer was ending. In just a few weeks, Harry would have graduated from college and Louis would be back home in Doncaster. He couldn’t wrap his head around the thought of saying goodbye to Harry, the first guest that acknowledged Louis’ presence and who really cared about his struggles. 

“Louis? Are you okay? You look lost”, it looked like Agnesia had been staring while he was lost in his thoughts.  
“Hm, yeah, I-I was just thinking about my songwriting, I have to finish at least one song once summer’s over.”   
“I was about to ask you about that, how is it going? Have you worked out the concept?”, Louis had told Agnesia that she was his muse last summer, but he never mentioned writing a song about her. She asked a few times about it, but gave up when she realised he didn’t really open his notebook when she was around.   
“Not quite yet, I’m stuck on a few words, a few lines, but I haven’t worked it all out. I will though, eventually.”

Once Agnesia’s dad finished his work in the restaurant, they all sat down for dinner. They asked about the new student, about his parents, his plans for when the summer ends and they’d eventually tease Agnesia for only hanging out with him. 

“Watch Agnesia be completely lost when you leave. She won’t even leave her bed. The only thing she talks about is how smart you are, how well you play on your guitar and how excited she is for your song. She’s a crazy fan already, but she is your biggest fan”, her dad says. 

“Yeah, she is”, he says, before kissing her on her cheek, “I’m happy to have her by my side.”

-

At his return, Louis realises he had family coming over.  
“Louis, finally, we were waiting for you. How was your date with Agnesia?”

“It wasn’t a date mom, I told you we were just… casually hanging out”, Louis looked around in the room, trying to spot Harry. He wasn’t home.

“Whatever it is that’s going on between you guys, you missed our annual family gathering. Come greet everyone.”

As every family gathering goes, Louis gets questioned about everything. His Italian family really didn’t know anything about boundaries.

“Did you and your friend hit it off yet, she’s hot”, his horny 14-year-old cousin asked.

“How’s the song? You’re going to spoil us once you’re rich, right?”, his grandma asked.

“I saw the new student you guys invited, is he nice to you?”

And the questions just go on and on. Gosh, can’t they annoy his parents with their dumb, unanswered questions?

It’s 11pm and Louis sits alone in a small couch. He almost falls asleep when his dad wakes him up, “Louis, can you play something on the piano for us?” as to which Louis immediately replies with   
“No, ‘m tired.”  
“Louis, don’t be such a bore, play something for us. You’re talented and you should use it. Now.”

He stands up and sits right in front of the piano, the piano where him and Harry bonded for the first time. Having no clue what to play, he asks people for suggestions,  
“Okay lads, what should I play?”, a question they all answer with “ _Signor Presley per favore_!”. He only knows “Can’t help falling in love” so he starts playing the melody. Everybody immediately looks at him playing, as they sing along:

_Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can’t help falling in love with you_

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin?_

_If I can’t help falling in love with you_

And the lyrics just hit home for some reason. He can’t put a feeling to it, but it just feels right to play this song.

_Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

It just all makes sense to him.

Oh to be loved by someone just like Elvis loved the person he sang this to.

As they all finish the song, ending with a long _with youuuuu_ , they start clapping. “We knew you were talented, Louis. One day, your name will be all over the world. You’re born to be a star”, his grandpa says.   
“I don’t think I’ll ever be that successful”   
“As long as you like what you’re doing, no one can tell you you’re not successful. We’ll be proud of you no matter what.”

And perhaps that’s what louis needed to hear. 

As he stands up, saying goodnight to each member of the family, his eyes meet Harry. Has he been there all along? Louis tries to ignore the long stare Harry is giving him, and he can’t help but smile. Harry has probably heard him play on the piano, something that hasn’t happened since the last time he played for him.

When Louis finally finished talking to his grandma, who had placed a thousand of her kisses on his face, he looks back at Harry, who signals him to follow him into the garden.   
“How long have you been here? I thought you were coming home late?”, Louis asks, figuring out if Harry saw him play the whole song.   
“If that’s your way of secretly asking if I heard the whole song, then you’re really bad at being sneaky. I was there as soon as you started playing. I was actually planning on immediately heading upstairs, but the sound of the piano let me stay.”, Harry answered, he was as happy as he was in the morning. 

Must be a blue-bathingsuit day

“You were amaz- I mean, you were good. I’m probably not the first one saying this, but you’re really talented.”   
“You’re not the first one, but since they’re my family it feels like they… you know, say it just because we’re family. But thank you, I appreciate it”, Louis is thankful they’re in the dark, because he knows he’s blushing.

“Also,” Harry continues, “I’ve spoken to your dad, and he said he can give me another day off tomorrow because he had noticed how happy you looked today. You really love the places you’ve shown me, don’t you?”

Louis loves the places, he really does, but that’s not why he was so happy today. Spending some time with Harry, being able to express himself freely and laugh about it is what made him happy.

“Yeah I do, the nostalgia just makes me happy”, he lies. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”, Harry asks. He clearly noticed how tired Louis looked.

“Goodnight Harry”, he says, as he walks away from Harry’s ‘ _stargazing heaven_ ’.   
“Goodnight Louis.”

-

The next morning, Louis wakes up from a bad dream. He had dreamed about Harry leaving earlier then what he had in mind. 

In his dream, Louis was chasing after Harry’s taxi, trying to catch it up. He said he wanted to tell Harry something, something he hadn’t said earlier. But before Louis could even know what his dream-self wanted to say, he woke up with his head on his desk.

Harry was already eating his breakfast when Louis finally came downstairs.  
“There is the sleeping beauty. Harry waited for you this morning. Since when do you sleep ‘til noon?”, his mom asked.  
“is it noon already?? Oh my god, Harry, I’m so sorry. You should’ve woken me up”, Louis says, already preparing his bag to leave.   
“I came in your room but you still looked exhausted, so I thought I’d wait until you were rested. But please, no rush, eat some breakfast first and then we’ll go.”, Harry says, pulling on Louis’ shirt and signing him to sit.  
“I’ll eat on our way to the _Torre De Pogerola_. We have a very busy schedule, come on.”, Louis says.  
“Are you taking him to the Torre? Louis… Are you sure about that? I mean, it’s quite far away”, his mom says.   
Because in fact, the old tower was a few miles away from their home, but Louis knew what he was doing, and he knew he wanted to show Harry ALL of his favourite places.

“It’ll be an exercise, but I’m accepting Louis’ challenge with pleasure”, Harry assures his mom. “Plus, I asked him, so if he’s tired, we’ll figure out another way to come home. I promise” 

-

After a few hours of riding into different cities and small back roads, they finally arrived at the Torre. They climb up the stairs until they’re at the highest top of the village. The tower itself isn’t that special, but the view certainly is. 

“Woah, Louis, this is definitely worth the hours of biking around. How did you find this place?”, Harry asks.   
“It’s quite a long story, really. Very very random also”, Louis prepares himself to tell the story because he knows Harry won’t care about a long story.

Four years ago, when he was 14, he was a troubled kid. He was that one kid in class everybody hated yet adored at the same time. He slept through all of his classes, only waking up to annoy the teachers or to joke around with his classmates. He had people to talk to, he really had, but none of them were his friends. He never did his homework, never handed in any of his essays and he certainly didn’t study for his tests. It came to a point where his parents were being called every week for the bad behaviour of their child. 

“Oh so you were really annoying and that’s how you ended up in this beautiful place? Makes sense.”, Harry interrups. “Shut up, it’ll make sense when I’m done, you arse.”

His parents never were the strict kind of parents, so they always sat down with Louis, trying to understand why he was acting this way. Louis answered that he wanted to quit school because there was nothing for him to fight for anymore. He was bored at school and didn’t want to live a boring life. His parents tried everything to make him like going to school again. They bought him a guitar, signed him into a music program at school, then bought him a piano, drums and so on. 

“And before you interrupt me again, yes I was spoiled and I’m grateful for it all now. I wasn’t back then”, Louis quickly breaks his storyline.

Louis still held a deep grudge against his school, but he started to enjoy going to his special guitar courses. His grades went back up, but his mental health didn’t. So when school ended, they left Doncaster for their residence on the Amalfi coast. He was sad and felt like nobody really cared about him, until he met Signor Alba, one of their old neighbours. They would play chess and scream at the dumb people who decided they were smart enough to be on a quiz show- even though they weren’t smart at all.

Like- who even thought it’d be smart to answer “David bowie” when asked who wrote bohemian rhapsody??

Alba was the only who he could talk to at the time. He was funny, wise and well…old, but he had a car. Alba’s last wish before he died was to watch the sunset without having other people bother him. They had created a routine where they would visit every high place in the city, trying to find the perfect place to watch the sunset. 

Unfortunately, Alba died right before they could find the perfect place. Louis was devasted and stayed in his bed for weeks, leaving it only to eat dinner.   
The day of Alba’s funeral, he ran away because he couldn’t bare the thought of his only friend dying. He took his bike and decided to pursue Alba’s dream, until he found this place.  
“I often think that, if he were still here, he’d love it”, Louis said, trying to hold his tears in.  
“He would, Louis. I’m sure he’s proud of you right now.”

He spent the whole night crying on the side of the tower, being pretty much miserable. He lost his only friend, the only person who didn’t look at him like he was some kind of troubled, depressed kid. His parents thought they lost him when he finally returned, early in the morning. His eyes were puffy and he was cold. After a long shower, his parents agreed to take him to Alba’s grave where he could say his last goodbye’s. Since then, he visits the torre at least once a year but Alba’s grave hasn’t been visited since that one morning.

“Long story short, the tower has nothing to do with the beauty and the significance. It’s quite ugly if I’m honest”, Louis jokes.

“The view is so beautiful and then when you look behind you it’s just… dirt”, Harry replies as to which they both die of laughter.

“But,” he continues, “you did a really good job at pursuing his dream, I admire you. I wouldn’t be able to think about something like that ever again”   
“It’s no big deal, really. I had to find a place to sleep too so it’s two birds with one stone”.  
They both stay very silent for a while, enjoying each other’s company while Louis rememorizes all of the talks he had with Alba. 

“I had my own kind of Alba, too,” Harry starts, “I mean, it was a cat, but Dusty was there for me. I had no one when I finished high school. My friends all decided to move to London, my parents split up, and my sister was never home. Dusty just kind of… knew when I was sad? He would come into my room when I cried, and he would sit on my lap. Unfortunately, when I left for college, I had to say goodbye. He died just a few months later but I never really had a proper moment with him. I know it’s not the same, since we’re talking about a cat here and I’m sorry for bringing it up because I just now realise how stupid it actually is but-“ 

“It’s not stupid, Harry. Both Alba and your cat were there for us when nobody was, no matter who or what they are, they helped us.”, Louis says, as he hugs Harry. The hug kind of surprised Harry, but after a small second Harry’s tense shoulders relaxed and he hugged him back. 

The hug felt great. Harry smelled like fresh coconut and his arms, clearly well-trained, held Louis perfectly. 

Louis never thought about how broken Harry could’ve been in his life and how much that could have impacted him. He’s just always brings so much light to the room and he’s just a positive energy to hang around with.

They both let go simultaneously when Harry asks what other places they’ll visit. “Well, I still have a few spots I quite like, but none of them are better than this one, sorry to disappoint”, Louis says. Because he really did choose his best place first.   
“Every place we visit all look like fairy tale places, so I don’t really care if one looks less fairy than the other”.  
And they leave the Torre for Louis’ next spot.

-

On their way back to Louis’ village, Harry talks about his different adventures with Dusty. Apparently, Dusty was quite an annoying cat. He tore all of Harry’s favourite shirts apart, he handed dead mouses as a present and he scratched Harry every time he had the chance to. 

“But if you ignore the negative sides, he was an amazing cat. I couldn’t have wished for a better one”

And as they arrive to Louis’ secret lake, they both feel relieved of any kind of stress.

-

“This place is my ultimate reading place. I used to come here with a bunch of books from the library and just finish them all in a week. Nobody ever comes here, so it’s really just my place”, Louis explains. It’s a place he never wanted to share with anyone, because it felt more like home than anything else. But with Harry, it felt different. He didn’t really mind sharing it.  
“But if you ever come back and bring someone else here, I’ll rip your head off because I’ll still be here”, and Louis isn’t kidding, he really trusts Harry to keep this to himself.  
“Alright alright, I promise you that I won’t show this to anyone. It’ll be our little secret. Mind if I go for a swim in your ‘sacred’ lake?”, Harry invites him to go with him.

-

“I like the way you say things”, Harry says after a while.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, everything you say just makes so much sense when you say it. I like it”

“So I can bramble shit out of my mouth and you’ll still listen? Dammit, should’ve told me sooner before I embarrassed myself talking like a smart professor”, Louis says. He doesn’t understand why Harry’s complementing the way he says things, but he doesn’t mind. He likes this new Harry.

“More like you embarrassed yourself thinking you ever talked like a professor”, Harry says, as he gets closer to the place where Louis is swimming.

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”, He says as he throws water on Harry, who immediately fights back.

“I like the way you say things, too.”, louis says as he turns his back on Harry, trying to hide his huge smile.  
“Even when I only talk about Dusty’s misbehaviour?” 

“ _Especially_ when you only talk about his misbehaviour, it’s quite interesting if I’m honest”.

Louis could say this a thousand times and he still wouldn’t be bored, he really enjoyed talking to Harry. Even if their discussions were about dumb fruit debates, cats, annoying teachers, or his family.

“You seem to know more than anyone here”, Harry says as he follows Louis.

“I just repeat whatever my parents tell me, Harry. If only you knew how little I know about the things that matter”

Louis had no idea why that came out of his mouth, but it did. If Harry was as smart as he looked, he could understand what Louis meant. 

“What do you mean, ‘the things that matter’?”, he asks,

Was he doing this on purpose?

“, whatever you meant with ‘things that matter’, I’m sure you still know more than anyone I ever spoke to here.”

He completely ignored Louis’ tease, whether he chose to or not, it’s too late to continue. Louis gets out of the water and dries his wet body with his T-shirt before pulling out a book to read. 

“ _Giovanni’s room_? I didn’t know you liked reading _those_ kind of books”

“Normally I don’t really buy books myself but this time I liked the summary”

_In the 1950s Paris of American expatriates, liaisons, and violence, a young man finds himself caught between desire and conventional morality. With a sharp, probing imagination, James Baldwin's now-classic narrative delves into the mystery of loving and creates a moving, highly controversial story of death and passion that reveals the unspoken complexities of the human heart._

“Have you started it already?”, Harry asks, “because I’ve read it multiple times and I never really discussed it with anyone.”

Oh, so he read it.

“I finished it last year, but I’m trying to read it again. It kind of… feels like a comfort.”, Louis says.

Because in fact, the book was about a love story between two men, a book that caused so much controversy when it came out in 1956. The African American author faced a lot of gay accusations and racial hate, a mix that could be dangerous in the 50s. Louis bought the book when he was 16, a period in his life where he was questioning who he was. The book, not explicitly talking about gay romance, helped Louis feel safe.

“I know exactly how you feel,” Harry says, “The way the author described a character who was questioning himself was amazing. I really liked how James Baldwin discussed both identity and sexuality.”

“James Baldwin was a brilliant man. Can’t believe he got so much backlash for his writing.”

“That’s the 50s. He knew he’d deal with this, and he didn’t care. ‘t made me come to my own senses when I first read it.”

“I think it made everyone think about themselves for a while, didn’t it?”

“Probably, but the way the main character dealt with his own masculinity and his bisexuality was something I really needed to read after my mom- “, he stops suddenly, shaking his head.

“What? What happened with your mom?”, Louis asks. He doesn’t know if he’s going to far or if talking about it would help Harry.

“It’s nothing really, we don’t have the time to talk about all of this.”

Is this what Harry tried to tell Louis when they first spoke about his hometown? Perhaps something really happened between Harry and his mom.

“Harry, we spoke about your cat the whole time and I already told you I enjoyed it. Nothing is too stupid or too long not to talk about.”

When louis spoke like that to Harry, he really felt like he was growing up. He would’ve never spoked so maturely to someone months ago.

“It’s not a stupid story at all, I just don’t think it’s something we should talk about. We’ve been good, I’d like to keep it this way”, Harry said, as he layed down again, ignoring Louis’ stare.

-

Harry’s cold gaze returns when Louis invites him to return home after a while. He ended up reading at least 50 pages while Harry fell asleep next to him. Harry looked trapped in his own feelings, contemplating whether he should speak to Louis again or not. Louis also thought about speaking to Harry again, figuring out if he should apologise to him. He didn’t give it a second thought when his mind told him not to apologise.  
When they came back home, Louis’ mom greeted them and asked why they came home so early. “I dunno, we were just tired”, Louis said, but Harry told her a whole different story: “I wanted to”. Louis’ mom looked at Louis and her questioning was visible on her face, but Louis just wanted to stay in his room. He opened his notebook, who, to be fair, changed into a diary, and started writing.

_Every time I take a step closer to you, you take even more steps to push me back_

_Can’t stand that silence_

_Need to know what’s up with you_

_But I also just want to laugh with you_

And his mind just flooded with alternatives he could’ve said to Harry instead of pushing him to tell a story about his mom. Why didn’t Louis notice that Harry didn’t want to talk about it? Stupid, stupid Louis.

_I could’ve just continued about another story_

_Or maybe I should’ve just let it go immediately_

_Or perhaps I shouldn’t even have brought up the book_

_Or I shouldn’t even have shown him my place_

But from all Louis knows, all his small decisions led up to Harry being distant, so he couldn’t have changed it anyway.

After taking a small nap in everyone’s usual nap hour, he joined his mom in the garden. Harry was nowhere to be seen, not even in ‘his own little heaven’.

“You and Harry seem to have a strong friendship,” Louis’ mom looked up, closing her book. 

“It’s alright, better than all of the other student, but it’s alright.” The word _friendship_ hit harder than Louis had envisioned. It’s the only thing they’ll ever be, nothing else.

“I don’t know, you seem to like him a lot more than we do sometimes.”, what did she mean by ‘liking him’?

“I think it’s just because we’ve been hanging out a little more than I usually do”, he said as he sat next to his mom, her hand already running through his soft hair.

“I think he likes you too, even more than you do”

“How’d you know? Did he tell you?”

“One must never tell her deepest secrets”, his mom said, winking blatantly.

It’s not like Louis didn’t know Harry liked him but hearing it from someone outside of their bubble made Louis happy. He knew he didn’t ruin everything.

“When did he tell you?” 

“A long time ago,” she answered, “nothing to worry about _amore_.”

O, how he loved when his mom called him like that. They were never really that close when Louis grew up, as he always hung out with his dad rather than with his mom. But everything had changed right after Alba had passed away. Louis didn’t talk about his feelings to anyone, at all. He used to cry it all out in the morning right before breakfast and continue his day smiling it all away. It’s when he was at his lowest, searching through Alba’s old stuff that they got gifted, that his mom noticed it. He was looking through a photo album that Alba had named ‘Me and the future songwriter’, when she walked in.  
“Louis, darling, I don’t want to interrupt but one of your friends in Doncaster called. He asked if you were okay, should I tell him to call back?”, she gently asked.  
“I- I don’t really feel like speaking to any of my friends, when I lost the only one I really cared about. Can you leave me alone?”, he was already feeling his tears filled with anger coming.  
“Are you sure? I’m sure it will help the both of you to speak about everything. I’ll tell him to call you tonight, Okay?”, she started to turn around.  
And Louis didn’t mean to get mad, but at the time it felt right: “Mom, stop thinking you can decide what’s good for me. I lost my friend, don’t you understand? He was the only one who cared about me and now that he passed away everybody starts caring.”  
He started breaking down in tears. He knew that his words could hurt his mom, but he was so lost. Alba meaned so much to him and as much as he tried to ignore it, he was starting to feel like home. That summer, Louis realised Home wasn’t only a place where he lived in or someone he romantically loved. Home could also be a person that brings you peace, a person that knows what’s wrong without even asking. He looked at his mom and she was standing in a corner, completely voiceless. His tears rolled like a painful warm shower around his cheeks and he fell to the ground. His heart was screaming in pain and was asking Louis to get out of his chest. His hands, already wet, started reaching out to his chest, touching a place that was burning harder and harder by the second.   
His mom rushed to him and sat down with him. He fell into her arms and they stayed there in silence for a few minutes. He let it all out, told his mom how he felt, told her the story about the sunset and all she did was listen to him. When he stopped inhaling his tears while hiccupping, his mom looked up at him and she didn’t see her baby boy anymore. Going through Alba’s death had changed him, he matured, his eyes turned darker and his hair got messier. 

“I know my words won’t change anything to what you’re currently going through, I know they won’t. What’s happening right now is something we all have to go through, but never would anyone wish upon someone to have to experience it at a young age. You’re only 14, you have plenty of time to meet new people, to meet your home, to meet the person you’d want to stay with for the rest of your life. What you have to keep in mind is that Alba is out there, waiting for you to meet the person that will make you feel like he did and even better. He’s keeping an eye on you, even if you think he isn’t. I know you don’t believe in the afterlife, but we both know he was and is your guardian angel. There will be hard times in your life, times where you’d wish Alba was there to talk to you. But there will be happy times, where you think about how cool it would’ve been to share it with him. When those moments happen, remind yourself that he’s next to you, guarding whatever bad emotion is coming after. And one day, you’ll wake up and this will all just be a memory. You won’t feel as much pain as you did before, and you’ll smile without thinking he has to be next to you. But even when this will all be a memory, he’ll still be watching over you and he’ll be so proud. I know he will. I am so proud that you continued to search for his perfect sunset, cherish it as much as you need. That one _torre_ will always be yours. Don’t share it with me, it’s not in my place to know where your place with Alba is. Share it with someone that means a lot to you, someone that makes you feel like Alba did, no one else.”

He shared it with Harry and he still doesn’t know why he did. When his mom told him to keep it secret years ago, he told himself he would never show it to anyone. He promised himself that no one would ever get as close to him as Alba did, because he was scared he’d lose them and that he’d have to go through all of this pain again. The way Harry looked at him last night after he played Elvis’ song made him feel like he needed to share it. It was all he could think about that night, he just gazed at the torre on the map that whole night before falling asleep on his desk. 

“You’re the strongest little boy I know, _mi amore_ , we all love you so much and I’m so proud of you. You’re a talented and handsome young man. I’ll tell your friends you’ll call them when you’re ready. I’ll let you open up his boxes, there will be dinner waiting on your desk downstairs.”, she gave him a kiss on his head before walking to the stairs.

“Mom?”, Louis softly asked, “Could you stay here with me?”

“Of course I can, what box do you want us to open next?”

And since then, he never left his mom’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, now that that's off my chest we can dig deeper into some other stuff :) Let me know what you thought about this one, because i re-read it a few times and i think i like it!!
> 
> I'm starting the writing process of the 4th chapter in a few days so be sure to dm me on twitter if you want to know when the fanfic is updated :)


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW // homophobia (read chapter notes please)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for coming back :) Again, [ here's the link to my spotify ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3TvAHLmtNDzhHJBUKdYZzv?si=lkNWakl2RjaDX3XCDmiwtA)
> 
> ALSO!! small announcement: i'll try to publish 1-2 chapters a week!! So if you're into this story, i'd advice you to come back every monday/tuesday for updates until at least january 5th (because that's when I'm starting school again).
> 
> Let me know if you like the story so far on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/GHOSTlN91)   
>  Dm me, i'll be so happy to talk to you guys :)
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter.. We'll see eachother at the end of it.
> 
> ALSO THIS IS IMPORTANT!! from now on, i'm putting trigger warnings to avoid all kinds of triggers... so for the next few chapters (because I don't want to spoil anything) so:
> 
> TW // homophobia

Harry returned for dinner sooner than Louis had expected and his face looked looser than the tension that was visible after their “Giovanni’s room” talk. Harry came home with some groceries on Vimini’s bike and brought them to the kitchen: “Here you go, _signorina_ , I also bought some chocolate as a thank you to both you, your husband and Louis.”

“A thank you? What for?”, Louis’ mom asked, because from all Louis could recall they didn’t do something _for_ him today…On the contrary, why would Harry thank Louis when all he did was ask an indiscrete question about his past?

“Dunno, I felt like I’m not grateful enough for all the stuff you guys do for me. Here Louis, I brought your fave, salted caramel. I-It’s your favourite, right??”, Harry asked while looking at Louis as if he just murdered Louis’ favourite fish.

It was in fact his favourite and Louis didn’t even remember him telling what his favourite chocolate was, “It is, how-“

“Harry, I’ve been waiting outside for way too long, I decided to come in”, of-fucking-course… Florence told him. He hung out with her. All day.  
She was hanging around Harry’s shoulder while looking nonchalantly at Louis. What a brat.  
Louis could have sworn he would’ve snapped at her if Harry wasn’t around.

“Florence, I told you to go home, it’s almost dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow”, Harry said as he tried to untangle himself from her. He looked directly in Louis’ direction as if he didn’t want Louis to know he was with Florence, and it hurt Louis more to know Harry wanted to keep this as a secret.

“Florence can eat dinner with us if she wants to”, Louis said while ignoring all of Harry’s glances. But Florence understood Harry’s request and told Louis she had to go home either way.  
Good.  
She gave Harry a small kiss on the cheek and left with her bike.

-

Dinner was kind of awkward with Harry and Louis being very silent, Louis’ parents debating whether Mussolini was a good dictator or not- honestly who cares- and his neighbours casually joining them for dessert. Dinner was chaotic but after the afternoon-talk Louis had with his mom, he couldn’t care less. All Louis wanted to do was talk to Harry and know why he reacted like he did and why he would even care to buy him chocolate. Not to mention his favourite flavour that was only available in the supermarket far away from their home. As soon as they both finished eating some ice cream as dessert, they both exited the table and went to their usual stargazing place. They didn’t have to talk because both knew where the other was heading.

“I think”, Harry started, “you probably know I’m very sorry about this morning. I should’ve been grateful for the places you’d shown me and it was very bratty of me to ignore you so much.”

“I mean it was kind of bratty”, Louis says smirkingly, “But I should be the one to apologise for asking stupid questions and pushing you so hard.”

“It’s okay, after all I’m here as guest, right? I must talk at least a bit about myself to be polite.”

“Yes, but you shouldn’t tell me private stuff just _because_ you’re the guest. We can talk about Dusty, or Dusty 2.0 if he even exists… I don’t mind, really. We can talk about everything.”

“I know, I know. I will get better at opening up though, I promise. Now if you don’t mind, let’s have a taste of your favourite chocolate while we stare at the stars, hmm? ‘m sure nobody ever proposed you something so… poetic and aesthetically pleasing right? Bet this moment could be a perfect inspiration for your next song.”

But all Louis could think about is how Harry promised he would try and work on him opening up a little bit more, it made him happy thinking about the discussions they’ll have in the future.

“A good inspiration, hmm maybe, I mean I could write ‘I eat my favourite chocolate with a random stranger under a moon full of stars’ and if I add a few ‘la la la’s, I bet I will sell out stadiums.”, Louis answered sarcastically. 

“That was exactly what I was thinking, like this could be the biggest hit ever, especially if you add ‘handsome random stranger’. I think it adds just a little bit more spice”, Harry answered while smirking harder than he did before. Louis has to admit that Harry’s funny… but he’s funnier.

They share Louis’ favourite chocolate while sharing each other’s childhood best friends’ stories. Louis has way more stories about how Stan ends up in the hospital than he thought he did. 

“I mean who would’ve thought that going into a bookshop could end up with Stan having to heal his papercut bleeds? I swear to god we can’t bring this man anywhere.”

And Harry talks about how his best friend Abigail always asked him to play her boyfriend at random family parties because “she didn’t want her grandma to tell her she doesn’t have a boyfriend because she’s ugly” I mean, how mean can grandmas be?

Harry will open up soon and Louis will be there for him whenever he’s ready. For now, he’s happy listening to his silly stories.

-

The next morning Harry is back at working for Louis’ dad while Louis is next to them analysing music and translating them into his own interpretation, “A good exercise for people like you”, his dad said. Louis thought it was a stupid idea since all he had to do was find an interpretation to not one but FIVE songs of prince. He doesn’t even like Prince, but it was Harry’s idea since “Prince is the king of metaphors and secret messages.”  
So there he is, stuck on Prince’s “Controversy” while Harry and his dad discuss the new client that is searching for a label. Louis reaches for the lyrics in the record and lays them in front of him:  
_I just can't believe all the things people say (controversy)  
Am I black or white, am I straight or gay? (Controversy)  
Do I believe in God?  
Do I believe in me?  
(Controversy)  
I can't understand human curiosity (controversy)  
Was it good for you, was I what you wanted me to be? (Controversy)_  
This man had so much on his mind as a gay man in the 70s, no wonder he called it controversy.  
“Controversy? What a great choice”, Harry says as he sneaks behind Louis, “This song was played in every disco when I was 17. Most powerful hit song of the 70s in my opinion.”

Is it even shocking that Harry wants to work in the music industry? This man knows way too much about everything and everyone.

Harry takes the record from Louis and puts it in the nearest working record player they own. As the first chords start playing, Harry starts dancing and singing along like a 15-year-old at his first party.

“ _Do you get high? Does your daddy cry?_ , come on Louis, don’t let me dance around like an idiot all alone”, He says as he pulls Louis from his chair.

As both Louis and his dad start dancing with Harry they all three chant:  
_Some people wanna die so they can be free_

_I said, life is just a game, we're all just the same (do you wanna play?)_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_People call me rude, I wish we all were nude_

_I wish there was no black and white, I wish there were no rules_

And as the song finishes, Louis sits down and starts interpretating the song in his own life, What game is he playing? What would he do in order to be free? What if there were no rules? What would Harry do if there were no rules?

-

Louis had arranged a “date night” between him and Agnesia and he clenched his teeth when he saw Florence and Harry arriving at the same spot where they agreed to hang out. Not like he cared that Harry was out with Florence, because that’s on him. Florence annoying laugh is what Louis couldn’t bear. She’d always laugh and say “Oh Harry, you’re so funny, tell me another one of your jokes.”  
Yeah she’s annoying.

He decided to ignore it and spend his time with Agnesia, who had started to worry after Louis didn’t meet up with her for 3 whole days, “I thought you had one of your weird days again”

She was referring to the days where Louis would ride around town in his bike, all alone, while trying to find a peaceful place to write. Louis hates how she calls them ‘weird days’ because those were his favourite days. Days where he didn’t owe anyone anything. He was on his own, no parents, no neighbours, no Agnesia, no exchange student. But since he met Harry he didn’t feel the need to leave town, he felt like he could do the writing with Harry by his side.

“I visited some places with Harry, he thought it’d help with my songwriting.”

“And? Did it work?”

“It did. I’m starting a new writing process tomorrow.”, Louis says as they enter the theatre with tickets for “sixteen candles”.

“Does your new writing process include spending a little bit more time with your _muse_?”, Agnesia asks while putting her chin on his shoulders.

“Originally, no, but since you’re asking I’ll put you in the schedule”, Louis replies as the movie starts.

-

The next morning, the coast decides to be the most unattractive coast in Italy by having the worst summer showers. Louis’ family decided to come over and since it’s raining so heavily, they’re eating inside for the first time since summer started.

“We’ve talked about this a thousand times. Without a great leader like musollini, Italy would’ve never been as powerful as they are now”, his Father’s mother says. “Are you even hearing yourself _mamma_? You’re talking like a fascist right now, he did so many horrible stuff. What got into your head?”, he argues back.

Older people are so boring sometimes, all they do is discuss their political views and watch tv shows. Louis and Harry are both staring at each other while laughing at the debate that’s going on right next to them. They watch as Louis’ dad stands up and leaves the table while signing Harry to follow him, “I don’t want to argue with anyone anymore, Harry let’s get back to work.” And as Louis tries to follow them his dad continues, “Louis please help your mom with cleaning the dishes, your songwriting can wait”. Ok rude.

As soon as he finished helping his mom clean the dishes, Louis went up to his room and decided to work alone for once. His room reminded him of the first time he heard about songwriting. He had just turned 12 when his dad called him into his office.

« Louis, son, we have something to talk about », he said before closing the door behind them. As Louis sat down, his dad started talking about how he got into music and how it helped him with surviving the horrible social-economic circumstances in the 50s. He told him music was a form of telling stories only he could fully understand. He wrote songs as a reply to whatever situation he was in. “A song will always be for one listener and one listener only.”, he said. He told him about creating and performing his own songs before starting a new label when his old record labels screwed him over. Louis’ dad, to Louis’ surprise, was actually a very good lyricist but since his voice wasn’t suitable enough for the chords he composed, he started selling his songs to labels. They never gave him credit (even though he thought it was illegal to do so), stole all of his ideas and underpaid him. Creating his own label has not only helped him get revenge by using his earned money to sue the now bankrupt labels, but it also helped other artists find a label that actually lets them do what they want. When he finished his whole rant and Louis was already half-asleep, he sat down with a book and handed it to Louis, « This is a sketchbook I used when I first started songwriting. I want you to use it in the near future. You’re a bright kid, Louis, I’m sure you’ll write masterpieces. »

« Who said I wanted to be a songwriter? », Louis asked mockingly because he didn’t think his dad was ACTUALLY forcing him into songwriting. He never thought about songwriting and he didn’t even feel like it was something he could be good in. Him and his dad had argued for a while before Louis stormed into his room and closed it behind him. He was frustrated about not getting the chance to choose his own path and being forced to follow his dad’s steps. He kicked his dad’s notebook to the other side of the room and promised himself he would never read it.

Louis never kept that promise though. As soon as he started to accept his dad’s ‘order’, he opened it and started using it as his own. The book was now filled with memories, small notes that left Louis’ mind years ago, train tickets, theatre tickets and it had turned into a personal diary. He even wrote on the exterior sides of the notebook with a marker and drew small music notes on it. He was quite proud of it and even though it wasn’t a very personal object, he forbids everyone to read anything. 

Since Harry and his dad were working and it was still pouring outside, Louis took his book and decided to write some more small concept and lyric ideas. He almost finished his mission into creating a new and easier writing process and he was excited to start writing actual songs. He now had a place to write, concepts, emotions, and stories to tell. He was already quite satisfied about that, but he still couldn’t put Agnesia into his concepts.

He opened an already full page and started writing:

_There is something missing in her eyes_

_Been up all night running all my lines_

_Comfortable silence is so overrated_

_looking in the dark, with an empty heart_

_Hope that I’m not asking too much, just wanna be loved by you_

_tell me do you still remember feeling young?_

-

Since it was still raining around 8pm, his parents decided to do their annual “family and friends game night” with Louis and Harry. His mom and dad were deciding whether they should play Monopoly or a card game or poker or… and it went on and on until they both decided to play Monopoly first. To Louis’ surprise, Harry was actually a very good player. He knew how to manipulate his dad into buying his houses over and knew which houses he had to buy to earn the most money. He was a good player, yes, but had he even ever played against _Louis the board game master_??

The silent house turned into a circus as soon as Louis started playing _his_ tricks into winning against Harry. “How is it even possible that I am losing so much money when you only bought the cheapest houses? Where has that ever helped anyone at winning this game?”, Harry shouted as he had to pay Louis 200 monopoly dollars, AGAIN. 

“A good player never reveals his strategies, ‘m sorry you’re LOSING!”, Louis replied as he received Harry’s money.

“Strategies, strategies… There’s NO way I’m letting you win like that. Sooner or later you-“, Harry stopped speaking when his dice rolled 8 and he realised he had to go to prison.

“Sooner or later what Harry? You’re going to prison? That was very soon.”, Louis grinningly answered because now Harry was broke AND he couldn’t play further.

“You’re very lucky today mister Tomlinson.”, he said before taking his pawn to the ‘prison’ case of the board game.  
Louis won the first game, but Harry promised himself he wouldn’t let him win for their next game: “I was very nice with you when we played monopoly. This time around, I’ll be very viscous, and I won’t care about making you cry when you lose.”, Harry claimed.

“Maybe I’ll let you win this time, I don’t want to make our guest sad.”, Louis replied with a pouting face.

Louis’ parents chose poker as their next game and Louis was pretty sure he would lose, as he had never won any round at poker. Harry, in his advantage, had played poker his whole teenage life and knew he was going to beat Louis.  
Both were so focused on playing against each other that they forgot about Louis’ dad. When Harry claimed he won by telling Louis to “Get some water and tissues”, his dad stood up and placed his cards right in front of Harry 

“When will the both of you realise that I’m the master, hmm?”, Louis’ dad triumphantly whispered. 

Both were in complete state of shock when they realised he had laid out a Royal Flush in front of them. Harry, that had only placed full-house, sat down and stared at the cards before looking at Louis’ dad and bursting out of laughter: “We all got played by you, poker-master Tomlinson. This was the best game I’ve ever had.”

-

Louis’ dad and Harry went along so well that Louis even decided to let them work alone most of the time. He was so happy to see how coherent the both of them worked together. One day, when Louis occasionally passed by to check up on them, his dad used one of his many tricks to test his interns:

“You know Harry, when you start your record label, I’d like to advice you to seal 360 deals. You’ll be able to have more control about the artist and you’ll eventually gain more profit out of controlling their public image”, his dad said.

Louis started rolling his eyes because he knew that this was completely false and that he was just testing if Harry knew the basic rules of the 360 deal.

“I don’t want to sound somehow umm arrogant, mister Tomlinson, but I might have to disagree with you here”, Harry said.

“Oh, how so?”, His dad enjoyably said.

“Well, this is very theoretical so bear with me a second, but in theory a 360 deal provides more support than the basic record deals, yes, but that doesn’t mean the label has full control over what the artist does. A label gets their profits of off other revenue sources than just the entertainment. They provide support in exchange of a percentage of the revenues from these additional sources such as merchandise and other digital sales. I do think it’s a good idea to seal 360 deals, don’t get me wrong, it’s a very easy way to help artists grow while profiting at the same time, but that doesn’t mean I will have full control of their public image and their publicity.”

Louis and his dad started laughing and clapping when Harry asked: “What? Have I misspoken myself?”

“He tricks their students every year like this as a test to see if they’re ready. Congrats Harry, you’re a smart one”, Louis fondly said.

All Harry could do was shake his head and smile back because he was proud about Louis calling him ‘a smart one’.

-

Louis still hung out most of the time with Agnesia and her friends as a time out of his writing. They’d party, watch movies, shop, hang around town and swim in the lake. Louis tried to take care of Agnesia as much as he could because he really wanted her to have an amazing summer. She was only a year younger but somehow Louis couldn’t help but treat her like his baby. Perhaps he treated her this way because of how bad he felt that he hadn’t thought about her while writing, or because of how long they knew each other. 

The first time they met she was 8 and Louis was 9. She used to live right next to him in Doncaster and they walked to school together every day of the year. They’d invite each other at their birthday parties, even if Louis’ party was full of boys that teased her for being a ‘tomboy’ and even if Agnesia’s party was full of girls that called him ‘flamboyant’. In their memories, they’ve been friends forever and he never wanted to change that until a few years ago when both of their parents decided to buy a second house in Italy. Usually, they’d spend their summers in different places of the world, but with their new Italy houses they spent ever single day of the year together. Even though it was for his role of Danny Zuko in _grease_ , she was his first kiss. They tried to ignore the kissing scene every time they rehearsed the school play but on the night of the show, they had no other choice but to kiss. Louis was 16 at that time and that’s when he started to think he might like his childhood best friend.

Either way, whether he is so protective because he feels bad or because he knows her for so long, she’s a very sensitive girl that he has to protect. He has seen her heart been broken by too many guys throughout the years that he can’t be the next guy to hurt her. So he slows it down between them, takes time to understand what she wants, invites her to not-so-platonic dates, whispers her how beautiful she is and how proud he is of her until she can’t stand on her legs anymore and he simply tries to be the best.

All he does is hope she doesn’t want to label their relationship, he’s not ready for one yet.

One morning, when Harry is out printing papers for the label, Louis is on a double date with Agnesia, stan and his girlfriend Hannah. They decided to buy some ice cream and play in the arcade.

“Louis, how’s the guest of this year?”, Stan asks. He was used to Louis complain about them so he thought it was really weird that Louis didn’t ever complain about Harry. 

“Harry? He’s… fun. I think he might be one of our best interns to be fair. He passed my dad’s test yesterday and he seems to have a lot of potential.”

“Florence told me about how perfect he is, you’ve made a great choice Louis!’, Stan said. Agnesia’s eyes immediately turned darker because she never knew Louis was the one that chose the interns.

“You chose him? Why haven’t you told me about that?”, she asked jealously.

“Dunno, It’s not that important. I just chose who looked smart and helpful.”, Louis answered while being careful not to say anything other than just the basic facts.

Stan understood what was going on and he quickly changed the subject, “Anyways, Hannah, how’s your sister in Paris?”

Stan always helped him out whenever Louis looked nervous. Back when Alba died, Louis and Stan stopped talking to each other at the same time. It wasn’t intentional, since Stan didn’t know anything about Alba, but losing both his older and childhood best friend was a horrible moment Louis didn’t want to go through. As soon as he felt a little bit better, he cycled all the way to Stan’s family house and apologised for whatever their fight was about. He told him about Alba, about his discussion with his mom and about how he still didn’t know how to start his songwriting process. Stan knew everything about Louis and Louis knew everything about Stan. After their first and last big fight, Louis never hid anything from Stan.

While Hannah was talking about how her sister joined one of the biggest actor companies, Agnesia still questioned Louis about Harry: “He’s your favourite one, isn’t he?”.

“What do you mean?”, Louis asked. He understands that she might be jealous about the fact that he hangs out a lot more with Harry than he ever did with any other student, but that doesn’t take away the fact that she is looking way too hurt.

“You’re hanging out a lot with him lately, even Florence has seen it. She asked him why and all he said was that you two get along very well.”

“Well, he’s not lying. I mean, he’s a soon-to-be producer or record label owner and I’m a soon-to-be songwriter, there are a lot of things to bond over.”

“I know, and that’s completely normal. I just think it’s weird that Florence is so upset about it.”

“Florence is annoying the shit out of me lately. She’s acting all mature around him and all she does is laugh and hang around his arms and I don’t know why she’s so upset about it but that’s her problem.”, Louis answered a bit too honest.

“psst”, stan whispers, “You’re looking very jealous right now, Louis. Lower that tone.” And oh how he was right. Agnesia looked even more upset and confused than she did before.

“Sorry”, Louis apologises to Agnesia, “I don’t know why I said it like this. All I wanted to say is that you shouldn’t think about what Florence feels. You’re here, on a double date with me, having fun. That’s all that matters.”

-

That same night, Louis was hanging in their library when Harry entered the room.  
“Apparently Florence feels weird about you”, Louis says as he closes his book.

“I was about to say the same exact thing about you. I don’t know what’s wrong with her, I told her a million times that I’m just here to have fun and that I don’t want her to get attached.”, Harry replies, “She knew I was never planning on actually putting any label on us so I’m sorry if her words affected your relationship with Agnesia.”

“It didn’t. Florence has always been weird around summer. She’s used to have a short fling with every intern, but this year feels even more off. I guess the way you play monopoly has made her be attached to you… Should’ve been more careful with your talent mister monopoly master manipulator”, Louis teases.

“If the way I play monopoly seduced her, she would’ve married you a long time ago. I still can’t believe you won with your stupid cheap houses”, he jokes back, “but on a more serious note… I really don’t see myself spending my whole summer with her more than with you. We have more things in common and at least you don’t laugh about every single word I say.”

“Oh thank god I’m not the only one who noticed. I’m so sorry but that one double date day was way too much for me. I can’t stand her laugh anymore”, Louis is still processing what Harry said right before he spoke about Florence’s laugh, “But I feel the same way. Hanging out with you might’ve helped me more into my songwriting in a few weeks than anything else in years.”

“ ‘m glad I helped you, but it’s all your work of art. No need to flatter me when all I did was take you back to places that mattered to you and give you small inspo’s about translating songs in your own vision. How is it going by the way? I’ve seen your notebook and your pencil on the counter today… I hope no one has read in it because it was very tempting.”

Fuck. He completely forgot about his notebook.

“Have you read it?”, he quickly asks.

“No, no, I would never. I know how personal it is. I closed the book and brought it upstairs in your room right before I came in the library. Can’t promise no one else read it though.”

“Thank you so much. You don’t know how bad I don’t want people to read it”, Louis says.

“Actually, I think I know how bad. Mine was read by the whole school when I was in high school.”

“Wait what? What happened?”

“I might have overexaggerated a little bit”, Harry took a deep breath: “It all happened when I was 15 years old. My notebook was very personal to me, I drew a lot in it, and I wrote silly things in it most of the time. But next to the silly things I wrote, there was some personal stuff in it. I wrote about what happened at home and my thoughts and all the people I liked. One day, I left my book in my locker when I was working out outside and somehow someone opened it and took it. I came back and I completely freaked out when my book was the only thing missing. I felt trapped because how would I describe losing a book to people without them judging me for having a ‘diary’? So I decided to search everywhere for the book that whole day and I didn’t find it anywhere. I came back home, and I saw someone standing on my porch. There was this one guy I wrote about in my book and he was standing there. With my book. He looked extremely conflicted and he just threw the book at me, called me weird and left. I never knew what happened with the book or if he even read it but judged by what he said and all the stares I got the next day, I concluded that at least a few people had read it.”

“Harry,” Louis knew how hurt he must’ve felt, “I’m so sorry that happened to you. It must’ve been so frustrating to not know how they opened your locker. I can imagine how personal your book was and the person who read it… he’s the weird one. I can’t believe some people don’t respect people’s fucking boundaries.”

“It was more of a creepy moment than something sad. Opening my locker, where I had other valuable stuff, and only keeping my book? Yeah, that’s weird. People saw me writing in it so it’s okay if it sparked some curiosity but opening a locker just to see what I’m writing in a stupid leather-brown book? It’s funny how boring their lives were.”

“Do you still have it with you? The notebook?”

“I do. Ever since that day I keep it right next to me. I still have some pages left to write in, they’re sacred. That’s why I took yours immediately upstairs. I wouldn’t want anyone to read the things you wrote like that, keep it next to you. Now tell me, How’s your songwriting going? Did the different places help?”

As Louis explained how his songwriting was going, they both went outside to continue their weekly stargazing routine.  
“So I mean, it’s ok. I don’t have full songs yet, but the fact that I already started on different song ideas with lyrics is already a good sign. I think I just need to return to one of the places instead of writing here.”, he explained, “But for now, all I can do is thank you. I don’t know what you did with your British-American ideas, but they helped.”

“I told you it was a good decision to choose me as your summer guest”, Harry cockingly says, “Your gut feeling knew I would help you.”

“We get it mister cocky styles”, Louis jokes, “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re a good guest.”

“Good? I think you’re missing a few words in your vocabulary… I’m wonderful, fantastic, incredible or even just a great guest.”

Harry loved being cocky and Louis enjoyed it. He preferred having a very cocky yet helpful guest than having one that ignores him completely. They were starting to become very good friends and Louis was happy he found someone that gets him like Harry does. Looking back at how they were literally ignoring each other just two weeks ago, Louis was proud of how far they had come.

“I love this, Harry”, Louis says after they had been laughing about Stan’s stupidities for way too long.

“What do you mean ‘ _this_ ’??”

“I don’t know, this whole summer basically. I just really love it. I’m normally home-sick way too soon and I bother my parents with it as soon as august arrives. But it feels different this year, I have more stuff to do and I just like being here.”

“Well,” Harry replies, “You have to thank Agnesia and your songwriting for that. She seems to be very time-consuming, in a good way of course.”

“She’s amazing, I love hanging out with her, but she has been around for years, so I don’t know if she’s the reason why I love this summer.”

“Oh, I get it. What made you love this summer as much as you do now is a tall, brown curly haired man that lives in America but comes from Manchester. If I’m not wrong, that man is quite handsome, funny, helpful and if I’m being honest, he kind of looks like me, doesn’t he?”

“Harry I swear to god if you put the spotlight on yourself again one more time I’m leaving this place”, Louis smirks.

Harry smirks back, taking his reply as a yes to his question.  
“Whatever you say, songwriter, we both know the answer to my question,” Harry stands up and reaches out his hand to pull Louis up, “What do you think about having a race to determine who cleans the dishes tonight, hmm? First one to arrive at the last abricot-tree wins.”

“Are you sure you want to lose again? We both know how bad you are at losing.” Louis replies, already preparing his feet to run as fast as they can.

“We shall see who’s the Italian version of _Rodolfo Gómez_ then between us. On the count of three,”

One

Two

Three

And the both of them run as fast as they can, running through bushes, slaloming the different trees. Louis is, as he predicted, in the lead and as he looks behind him, he practically declares himself as the winner.

“Hey Harry, if I were you, I would prepare my hands to clean all of the plates you’ll have to clean tonight!”, he screams as he starts to see the last tree from afar.

Harry fights back and starts sprinting faster as he says: “I will never lose from you again. I’ve learned from my mistakes, now, I think YOU should get ready to scrub my very dirty plate tonight.”

Both run as fast as they can, and perhaps they’re both way too competitive, but this is the kind of games Louis enjoys the most. When they both arrive very closely to the tree, they’re so distracted that they ignore the last bush and fall over. Harry tries to avoid them from falling by pulling on Louis’ shirt, but all it does is make Louis fall right on top of Harry. They fall right next to the tree in the grass and start laughing. Louis claims he won before Harry started pulling him while Harry claims he only pulled him because he wanted to help Louis: “I tried to avoid us from falling, but all you did was put your heavy 5”7’ weight on top of me. No wonder I lost, because I could’ve sworn that I was the winner.” 

“Just admit you lost Harry, It’s not that hard”, Louis replies, as he’s still in the same position… on top of Harry…

“technically,”, Harry replies, “Neither of us won, since we both didn’t touch the last tree. So I didn’t lose.”

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you? You knew you’d lose so you pulled on my shirt and used the bush as an excuse. You smart fuck”, Louis said as he teasingly punched Harry.

“Hey! I know I’m smart most of the time, but all I wanted was to help you when I pulled your shirt.”

“I don’t believe what you’re saying for one small second. You’re cleaning the dishes tonight, pulling my shirt was a sign of you losing.”

“I did not lose”, Harry poutingly says as he starts pushing louis away from him, “All I did was being the nice one, you’re so ungrateful.”

And as Louis fights back, they both start wrestling around like two pigs in a mudpool. Harry pushes Louis away, Louis pulls him back and tickles him, Harry tickles back and it goes on and on. At one point, when Harry is still recovering from Louis’ last punch, Louis gets on top of Harry again. His knees are on the ground, in between Harry’s thighs, and his hands are right next to his head. The only thing that lights their faces is one of the streetlights that still works. This is the first time that Louis sees Harry’s face up close. He realises how green his eyes are and how his smirks reveal cute small dimples. His hair is so long that his curls touch Louis’ hand, curls that are softer than Louis’ hair ever felt. Louis has a sudden feeling that he can’t quite put words to it, as if a lighting bolt touched him. He leans forward and as their noses touch, he feels Harry leaning forward as well. Their lips touch each other, and Louis feels how vulnerable and soft his lips feel. Louis’ tongue licks Harry’s upper lip and everything feels different than when he last kissed Agnesia. This time, the kiss felt like it was meant to happen, like their lips were made to link together. Harry’s lips were complementary to Louis’ and when they kissed, the shapes reconnected as if they were never made to separate. 

The kiss felt like it lasted for hours, yet it also felt way too short when Harry pushed him back: “What the fuck are you doing?”, he said as he completely pushed Louis to the other side. “I’m not into all of this gay shit just because I read Giovanni’s room okay? I don’t know where I ever gave you the impression of being into men but get that out of your head immediately. We have been good, we were friends and it should’ve stayed that way. I’m not mentally ill okay, get that in your head. I knew I shouldn’t have been this close to an 18-year old. Please for your own mental sake, stay away from me. You’re sick, Louis.”

As Harry leaves, Louis is still in the same position. He thought he and Harry had been flirting, he thought that maybe Harry was starting to feel the same. He feels lost, feels like a kid that just got denied at a rollercoaster ride because he was too small. He was so overwhelmed with happiness that he didn’t think about the boundaries between Him and Harry. Now all he feels is confusion and anger, because Harry leaned forward too, he gave him the feeling like he wanted this to happen. Harry was teasing him, he openly spoke about Giovanni’s room being an important element in his life, why would he all of a sudden call Louis sick?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... The weather??
> 
> I hope I didn't upset you guys, but I really wanted to put this into my story... It wil make sense later on ,trust me, it's really important to discuss what Harry and Louis are going through (because let's not forget, it's the 80s!!)
> 
> I love you guys, let me know what you thought abt it on


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cw // soft, short smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> I hope you guys don't hate me as much as I did when you finished chapter 4... I think I kept it quite calm. I'm really starting to give this story more depth in character than cmbyn did, and I hope no one minds the changes I'm making.
> 
> [ Again, here's my playlist for this fanfic](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3TvAHLmtNDzhHJBUKdYZzv?si=pX1DJ62uSwyrnttPSLrXiA)
> 
> Also I'd like to tell some of you guys that this really looks like Call Me By Your Name, because that's the purpose... I'm kind of tired to see some people dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/GHOSTlN91) telling me it looks like the movie... Like, I know guys trust me that's the main reason why I wrote this. There are a lot of references to a lot of books and I like it this way.
> 
> Anyways, I love you guys, I'll put a cw // soft smut for these next fex chapters,
> 
> enjoy!!
> 
> ALSO SMALL QUESTION: If you want to be my beta reader (a reader before I publish my chapter) dm me on twitter!! I'd love to have 1-2 beta readers :)

Harry is a dick.

He’s a messed-up asshole.

Louis stormed through the village with his bike, trying to forget what had just happened. It was raining -dramatic huh- and his neighbours were all starting to eat dinner. He knew his parents were probably waiting for him, but he knew Harry would use one of his excuses. Tonight, he wouldn’t come home, that’s all Louis knew for now. All he wanted to do was scream and go back to the small seconds right before he kissed Harry. Those few seconds where they stared into each other’s eyes, waiting for something to happen while having plenty of different thoughts running through their minds. Everything felt so light and Harry’s soft hair brushing Louis’ hand made Louis feel a weird and dizzy-making feeling in his stomach.

But feeling what he felt was called ‘sick’ by Harry.

Louis rushed to the nearest touristic place and decided to call Agnesia with the local telephone booth. Harry was a mistake, a sudden feeling he had mixed up with friendship because he was missing Agnesia. As Louis rushed to the lake where they met up, he passed next to his house and noticed the lights being lit in Harry’s room. It surprised Louis that Harry wasn’t out with Florence, but all he could care about at the moment is Agnesia. 

“I read the first few pages of the book you gave me”, Agnesia said when they greeted each other, “I’m so thankful, Louis. I really love how poetically pleasing the artist writes.”

“It’s Dante, _mio amore_ , he’s the best poet of the 14th century. I gave you my favourite book, so I’m glad you like it.”, he says while giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

“Did something happen at home?”, Agnesia asks when they sit down next to the river, “You look different, a little bit tense too.”

“Nothing big really,” he shrugs, “I really just wanted to go out, breathe some fresh air, you know?”

“Are you still mad at Florence?”

“Why would I?”

“Dunno, your look always changes whenever I say her name”, she says as she looks directly into Louis’ eyes, “ ‘s just a feeling though, I might be wrong.”

“Things changed between me and her and I do miss hanging out with just the three of us, but it’s not because I’m mad at her. I think I just want this summer to be _ours_ you know? We’re free to do whatever we want _whenever_ we want.” He says as he slowly brushes his fingers on the skin of her knees.

At Louis’ words, Agnesia understands his innuendo and starts taking her dress off, “now?”, she asks.

“Are you sure?”, louis replies.

Agnesia nods softly and they both start taking their clothes off. Louis embraces Agnesia, placing one hand on her back while unbuttoning her bra with the other. At the touch of his cold hands, she starts giggling and tells him to turn around so she can fully undress properly. Louis agrees but he playingly turns around to tease her as she screams “Louiiiiiis, I’m serious, let me undress first”.   
When she’s finally done undressing completely, both lay down in the tall grass and Louis kisses her lips softly. Her lips still smell like her cherry-flavoured lipgloss and she gently lets him control her movements. Louis places his hands on her hips and controls both of their movements while she covers his neck with small deep kisses. When both have been kissing enough for Louis’ cock to become hard, he asks her one more time if she’s okay, “You’re okay if I do this?”, he asks as he gently rubs himself against her thighs. “I am, Louis. Please do.”, she says as she lurks down at her own thighs. He nods and continues to tease her by stroking next to her spot and he knows she’s waiting for it. She puts her hands on his shoulders and directs him where she wants it the most. Both are very hot in the august weather and start panting heavily as soon as Louis stops teasing.

-

As both swim in the lake early in the morning, Louis seems to have forgotten about what had happened at home. Agnesia’s legs were clenched around his waist in the water, still shaking after they both spent the night figuring out what they liked the most. It was their first time but they both wanted to try out a few things and Louis enjoyed every single try. Their first time was pretty messy, since they both didn’t know what to say and how to react. Agnesia was quite shy in the beginning, trying to hold in her moans as Louis thrusted more and more deeply into her. When Louis started moaning as well, she let it all out and they both started laughing at how messy and hot it was. They took a small break in between their first and second try, being completely fazed out by the sweat and lack of air. They stared at each other and both nodded when Louis asked: “Should we umm, try ag-“ and he couldn’t even finish his phrase when Agnesia immediately grabbed him by the waist and turned her whole body in his direction. As Louis started to get out of the water and removed Agnesia’s legs she jokingly told him: “I think… you should take me out of the water, I’m still shaking.” And Louis didn’t hesitate a second, he took her by the waist and placed her on his back. It was already 9AM when Agnesia realised she never came home and that her parents would be extremely worried if they woke up without their only child, so she kissed Louis goodbye, took her bike and went home as fast as she could. Louis, having spent both the best and the worst night of his life, decided to head home, take his notebook as fast as he could and head to the train station.

-

Coming home wasn’t as easy as he thought it would’ve been. He arrived around 10AM, knowing his parents and Harry probably already finished eating breakfast and started working. He placed his bike next to the one he gave Harry, remarking how the bike had been used not so long ago because the tires were still covered in wet mud, and tried to head towards his room as quiet as possible. Before coming to his room, he heard a familiar voice using the phone in their living room. 

“I’m okay mum, everything is fine here. I’m actually learning a lot from the professor here”, Harry calmly said.

Hearing Harry’s voice so calm after he had completely lashed himself out at Louis was a shock to Louis. That whole night, the displeased tone in Harry’s voice kept reminding Louis of how badly he got rejected and how Harry called him sick. 

“no mum I told you, I don’t have time for that… Isn’t it more important for you to hear about how I almost finish my studies? You knew I would pass, right?” His tone started to change into a very disappointed, sad tone.

“I know, I know. It will all turn out how you want it to turn out mum, I get it.”, he seemed sarcastic and hurt.

“I’m coming home soon, yeah?, I’ll tell you all about the people here. Will you tell Gem to call me later? Oh, alright. I love you mum, I’ll see you soon.”, and he hung up and headed into Louis’ dad’s office.

From the stories Harry had told Louis, it seemed like they didn’t even talk anymore. Louis didn’t know if he should be happy that Harry’s still talking to his mum or if he should feel upset that Harry didn’t fully tell him the truth. He headed upstairs and took his notebook, headed downstairs again, took an apple and left.

-

The train station was the place where Louis wrote his first song. He had just turned 13 and he started writing only one year after his dad had pushed him to do so. He was just hanging around in town, it being one of his first rides around town alone since they bought their house. He was discovering new places, new people and new cultures he never saw in England. It was all new but boring until he arrived at the train station. He was passing around the train station, trying to cycle past it as fast as possible since it creeped him out, but he saw a boy sitting on one of the benches and Louis’ intrusive-self wanted to know why he was hanging around in an old, abandoned station. The boy, who looked like he was the same age as Louis, was a tall, curly brown-haired boy. Looking back at it, he did look like Harry, but this boy was a French-Italian citizen of the coast. Louis was grateful for his family having an Italian side, because he wouldn’t have been able to speak to the boy if they didn’t force him to learn Italian. Louis sat down on the bench next to the boy, and the boy immediately introduced himself:

“Hi, I’m Nicollo”, he said while reaching out his hand to shake Louis’.

“ ‘m Louis”, he replied while shaking Nicollo’s hand.

Both talked for ages about the coast and about their lives, completely ignoring the fact that they’re 1) strangers and 2) in a creepy place. 

“Why are you here, all alone?”, Louis suddenly asked when both were staring at the sunset.

“I don’t really have a place to stay other than my home. I don’t like it there, so I found this little place and decided to make this feel like home when I don’t want to be _at home_ , you know?”, he replied, “You, why are _you_ here?”

“To be fair? No fucking idea. I was passing by and this place literally scared the shit out of me, but seeing you sit here was intriguing, so I decided to figure out why you were here. I guess I have my answer now”

“You are one big intrusive, curious boy, aren’t you?”, Nicollo jokingly replied.

And both boys bonded so quick together that Louis completely forgot to keep an eye on the time. When the sun was completely set, and the people started to prepare to go to sleep, Nicollo and Louis took their bikes and went their separate ways. Louis came home and told his parents all about the new boy he met and how fantastic he was. He described them every small detail of Nicollo’s past, of his life on the Amalfi coast, of his handsome looking appearance and of the talks they had. His parents got so bored of how much Louis talked that they used a badly formed excuse to make him go to bed. That same summer, the boys kept hanging out at the train station where they discussed every debate in the world, including which season is the best.

“Definitely spring”, Nicollo said, “It’s not too cold outside, it’s not too warm, the rain hits just perfectly and it’s all just a fun season after the depressing time that the winter has brought us.”

“Hey!”, Louis screamed, “It’s my birthday in the winter, nobody can be sad on my birthday”, he said as he pushed Nicollo. “Summer will forever be the best. It’s 1980! How can you still prefer a soft 20 degrees over 35 degrees? You can’t get into a pool in the spring, that’s literal torture.”

“I will NOT change my opinion, _luiz_. I don’t know about _your_ spring in England, but the spring here is amazing.”

“Fine,” Louis said, “I will come to the coast next spring and then we’ll see what _your_ spring is like.”

As they both agreed, Louis came back in the spring. They went to parties together and enjoyed the soft weather as much as they enjoyed it in the summer. It actually made sense to Louis that Nicollo preferred the spring. Everyone was happy, sweat wasn’t as visible as in the summer, parties were less exhausting, and the energy was fuller. But when Louis’ two-week holiday to the coast ended and he had to say goodbye, Nicollo told him he wouldn’t be there for the summer again. Nicollo’s family had bought a house in Paris and they were moving in May. Perhaps Louis was a bit sad, but he was young, and he didn’t want to be sad and  
waste his time being sad. He had met someone incredible, a guy that was funny, intelligent and interesting as a person. All Louis could feel was happiness about meeting someone that gave him inspirational lessons for his life. Nicollo was only 14 when they greeted each other goodbye, but he was way more mature than Louis and he had lived through much more trauma than Louis ever has. They exchanged each other’s family phone number and agreed to call each other on every birthday. Nicollo called Louis every December 24th and Louis called Nicollo every august 20th. Last year, their call was quite eventful, since Nicollo told Louis he was moving out of his Family’s home and announced he wouldn’t have a telephone is his new home for at least a year. He did promise he would call next Christmas with his new telephone, so all Louis could do was thing about Nicollo on august 20th and wait for his call next Christmas.

When he opened his notebook to one of the pages he started writing on, he suddenly got interrupted by Stan:

“I knew you’d be here”, he said while kicking on the rocks next to the old trails, “Heard you didn’t come home yesterday.”

“Who told you that?”, Louis asked without greeting Stan.

“That’s not important, I just came to talk, I miss you. You’re always with Agne-“

“And you’re always with Hannah”, Louis interrupts.

“I was about to say that, you dickhead, anyways, WE are always with our girlfriends, girl friends or whatever you might call your thing with Agnesia, and we don’t hang out as much as we did anymore.”

“I must admit, I do miss hanging out with you and all of our weekly hospital visits”, Louis jokingly says.

“THAT WAS ONE SUMMER STOP RUBBING IT IN EVERY SINGLE TIME”, Stan yelled, “Anyways, how have you been?”

And as Louis and Stan sit down at the same place where he sat with Nicollo, it all just feels like one big déjà-vu where Stan is 13-year-old Louis and Louis is Nicollo. Louis tells him all about songwriting, the places he went to with Harry (except for the _torre_ because even Stan doesn’t know about that) and he talks about his first time with Agnesia.

“And that’s why you didn’t come home? You sneaky little bastard-“, Stan interrupts.

“Well partially. But that wasn’t my intentional plan. I didn’t come home because I had a fight with Harry.”, Louis says quietly because he isn’t sure how to tell Stan about what happened.

“A fight with THE Harry? The one that helped you go through your songwriting? What could’ve happened that two kind souls like you fought?”

“Well,” Louis said, “I think there’s a lot to explain.”

Louis tells Stan all about the Giovanni’s room talk, their agreement in the plot of “ _The knight and the handmaid_ ”, their daily talks about his mom, the way Louis’ body shivered when Harry tried to massage his shoulder and as he started to talk about last night he felt like he was holding in tears, as if he was cutting onions or as if he was a little boy trying to prove his mates that he isn’t hurt. 

“I don’t know why I’m so attached Stan, it all just happened so quickly”, he says as he wipes his finger under his nose.

“Louis, remember when you told me about Nicollo?”, Stan says as he puts his arm around his best friend,

Louis told Stan about him a few years ago, when Stan invited him home on august 20th. They were having fun until something reminded Louis what day it was. He apologised and rushed as fast as he could to call Nicollo and wish him a Happy 16th birthday. Stan followed him though, and he was upset that Louis didn’t tell him about his old friend.

“That one night, when you broke down sobbing because you missed him, do you remember that?”

“Yes…”, Louis replies while a tear is starting to stream down his face. He shouldn’t have held it in as much as he did.

“You didn’t cry because you missed him, did you? You realised something you never knew existed. You guys were in love, Louis. I don’t care about all of the ‘friendly’ talks you guys had, because at the end of the day, he still is in your heart. If he was just a friend, you wouldn’t be so attached to him. He wouldn’t even mind if you called him on the 21st, but you really didn’t want to miss his birthday. I know I should’ve told you immediately, but I saw it as soon as you started talking about Nicollo. You had a certain light inside of you, a sun burning in your skin, that made you feel more alive, all thanks to him. I don’t mind it, Louis, you can love who you love, but don’t lie to me. I know Nicollo was and still is important in your life.”

Of course he is. It took Louis a while, but he did realise it was rather love than friendship between him and Nicollo. He wrote a song about him and his favourite season, he sat down on the bench, missing him, he waited for his call on his birthday every year, he even called him when he was still mourning over Alba’s death, all for him.

“It’s okay to feel like this, Louis. I’ll let you finish your story, but whatever happened that made you leave home, what you’re feeling is valid.”

So Louis finishes his story, tells Stan all about the race, the staring, them falling on each other and the kiss. He breaks down when he tells Stan about the look Harry gave him:

“You should’ve seen the look on his face, Stan. He looked at me like I was some kind of old dirt that was stuck in his hairbrush that he couldn’t seem to be able to remove. He looked at me like everything that led up to this moment was all just a friendly game, that it was all just bullshit to make me write songs again, It doesn’t make sense to me.”, he says as he rests his head on Stan’s shoulder.

“You told me he went through a rough patch with his mum, innit?”, Stan says as he gently runs his fingers through Louis’ soft hair, “Don’t you think, perhaps, his phone call today and his past with his mum is linked to what happened yesterday?”.

“You’re telling me he has a valid reason to act like he did?”, Louis raises an eyebrow and removes his head off Stan’s shoulder.

“I’m not saying anything. You should think about my question, Louis. Not everyone is raised in a family and in an environment where people are accepted for who they are. You should talk to him.”

“There’s no way I’m ever facing him again”, Louis says as he stands up, “I know you want to help me Stan, but the look in his eyes were the message I needed.”

“ ’m not saying you should talk to him _now_ , just go home, then.”, Stan says as he holds ontoLouis’ arm.

-

Louis comes home to his family playing monopoly:

“HA! That’s 500 dollars, please.”, his mom’s scream can be heard in the living room.

“That’s not fair!”, Louis hears a voice that he didn’t want to recognise again, “That was literally the place you bought from me, I knew I shouldn’t have given it to you.”

“Exactly, darling, you shouldn’t have. Now pay up.”

Louis closes the door and tries to sneak into the house easily, but fails.

Everyone turns around, including Harry that immediately changes his smirk into a smaller smile, and they all face Louis:

“Louis, _Amore!_ , where have you been? We were so worried when Harry told us you decided to skip dinner yesterday. Were you with Agnesia?”, his mom asks as she stands up to give Louis a hug.

“I was, I spent the night with her, don’t worry about it.”, Louis replies, and he tries to ignore Harry being in the same room as him. He doesn’t want to face his cold glaze anymore.

“Oh, that’s lovely Louis. Come join us, we’re playing monopoly and, watch this, Harry is LOSING!”, his dad says.

“I’m not’, Harry calmly says, head still facing Louis’.

“I don’t know, dad” Louis shrugs, “I’m tired, I think I’ll just head upstairs and go to sleep.”

“Oh, okay. We’ll play another time then, goodnight Louis.”, his parents say as he hugs them and goes upstairs.  
He looks at the door of his old room, Harry’s room, and he contemplates if he should go in it or not. After a few seconds, he decides to open the room since ‘it’s his old room anyways’. He enters Harry’s room and all he sees is paperwork and vinyl’s. David Bowie, Prince and Elton John’s album all lay on his bed, as if he had just listened to them. Louis took David Bowie’s album ‘ _Let’s dance_ ’ and decided to take it with him in his room, Harry wouldn’t even see it. As he left Harry’s room, he noticed a small postcard that Harry probably bought in one of the touristic stores, ‘ _Welcome to the Amalfi Coast_ ’ was written on the card in big golden letters with the background of a calm coast. He turned the card around and saw the name of someone he heard Harry call when he was on the phone:  
 _Dear Gemma,_

_I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I miss you a lot. Summer on the Amalfi coast is amazing, I party every while or so, talk with a lot of people and I’m so excited to start working soon. The people here are amazing, this family offers me so much help and comfort and it reminds me of how we were back when we were little kids. I met an incredible person here, they’re funny and passionate, I’m sure you’ll love them._

_How is everything going on there, in England? Mum said you moved somewhere else, so I asked her to send me your new address._

_See you soon, I hope we can talk about everything,_

_Your brother Harry._

Louis carefully places the card where he found it and he goes in his own room. Harry’s postcard was genuine, he really wants to reconnect with his sister. Louis is hurt by Harry, but all he wishes right now is that Harry gets his happy end with his family.

-

As Louis tries to fall asleep, he hears his family finishing their game night as Harry says “Goodnight _la gente_ , we’ll have a busy day tomorrow.”  
Louis hears Harry climbing up the stairs and he hears him entering their shared bathroom. Water starts running down the drain and Louis quickly understands Harry will be taking a shower. The sound of the water makes Louis fall asleep in almost seconds, and Harry’s shower looks like it has been running for hours when Louis suddenly wakes up at the sound of the shower door closing. He hears his own bedroom door open when he suddenly starts feeling Harry’s presence, a presence that feels very heavy in the room. Louis wonders why Harry is standing in his room without moving when Harry closes the door again and enters his own room.

-

Louis woke up to the sound of the piano playing ‘ _space oddity_ ’ by david bowie. Since none of his parents ever learned how to play, Louis quickly figures out it’s Harry.

_This is Ground Control to Major Tom_

_You've really made the grade_

_And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear_

_Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare_

_"This is Major Tom to Ground Control_

_I'm stepping through the door_

_And I'm floating in a most peculiar way_

_And the stars look very different today_

_For here_

_Am I sitting in a tin can_

_Far above the world_

_Planet Earth is blue_

_And there's nothing I can do_

Louis loves this song.

“Goodmorning Louis”, his dad greeted him, “Well, actually good afternoon, but it’s good to know you’ve slept well enough.”

Louis looked at the clock that had just ticked 1PM, “Also, Louis, me and Harry have been working this morning and he needs to pick up something in Sorrento.”

Harry finishes his last key of the song abruptly, trying to listen what Louis’ dad says. Louis looks up at his dad while eating the leftover croissants and nods as his dad says “So I thought it would be nice if you two went together, since you know the city better than anyone else.”

“Hmm?”, Louis says as he almost chokes on his freshly pressed orange juice, “ ‘m busy today, dad. Can’t.”

Louis wasn’t busy at all, he had actually planned to sunbathe in the garden, but his dad didn’t know about their argument, so he probably tried to do Louis a favour. He didn’t even care about his fear to face Harry’s gaze, because looking at Harry now, he’s completely shut down with his head completely facing the ground. Louis now avoided Harry because he didn’t want to talk to him nor give him the attention he always seems to grab. His talk with Stan made sense, he HAD to talk to Harry, but Louis wasn’t having it.

“It’s okay, _signore_ , I can ask Florence to go with me. I don’t think _she’s_ busy.”, Harry said with such an arrogant tone. First off he tries to take away Louis’ only chance to talk to Harry and then secondly, he takes it away by going with Florence, knowing Louis doesn’t like her. Arrogant.

“You know what dad? I think I’ll cancel my plans and I’ll help out Harry. You were right, I do know Sorrento better than anyone else.”, Louis says as he mockingly smiles at Harry.

“Good!”, his dad says as he takes Louis’ plate and puts it in the dishes.

“Good.” Harry replies, still facing his head to the ground.

“Good then” Louis stands up and prepares his bag, puts some sunscreen on and takes his rain jacket.

-

The ride to Sorrento was pretty long, but even halfway through they hadn’t spoken a word to each other. They departed immediately after Louis agreed to come with Harry- or to be fair, after Louis practically didn’t give Harry any chance of choosing what he wanted- and after a whole hour of riding silently, Harry breaks the silence:  
“Umm, Louis? Can we take a break, please? I saw on a board that there’s a small café in a few miles, I think we deserve a small break, my treat.” Louis silently agrees and they both stop at a nice, cute café called _Sal di Riso_. 

A young waitress gives Harry and Louis a cosy seat in one of their couches and gives them a few minutes to decide what they were going to order. The Café was weirdly calm and the few costumers were all quite old or students preparing for their re-exams. The place where the boys were seated was decorated with plants and big blankets. Their couch was right next to a window that offered a beautiful view of the few mountain ranges next to the coast. Louis loved the place, and he could see how Harry probably agreed with him.

“So, gentlemen, what are you two ordering?”, the waitress asks after observing an exceptionally long silence between the two men.

“We haven’t quite, umm, discussed it yet”, Louis says as he looks over at Harry, who’s still looking at the menu card. Louis knew Harry probably had no idea of what was written on the card, since he could only speak a few basic words in Italian. “We’ll get back to you soon”, he continued.

“I know you can’t understand shit on the card, Harry, just ask me for the translation. I’m here for a reason.” Louis is annoyed but he still chooses to put their differences aside for once since he’s still the host.

“Can you just choose something for me instead? I’m really not a difficult person when it comes to food.”, Harry gives Louis his menu card and starts looking at the view.

Fine. He’ll choose something, whatever.

Louis called the waitress and ordered them a big Italian pizza and two Limoncello’s. Harry scoffed as he mockingly said: “You are so basic, Louis.”  
Louis took a big bite in his pizza and he didn’t care to reply to Harry with his mouth still full, “Shut up and eat your pizza, you lazy costumer. Can’t believe you made me pick the food and yet you STILL complain about my choice.”

Before Louis could even think about controlling his emotions, he felt a small smirk grow on both of their faces and decided to just enjoy the moment. Losing people taught him to enjoy the small interactions he has with anyone.

“As basic as your choice is”, Harry says with his mouth full, “It’s a good fucking pizza. Might be the best one I’ve ever eaten yet.”

“Well, you know what they say huh… anyone who says money can’t buy happiness hasn’t spent their money on Italian pizza yet.”, Louis jokingly says.

“That was so cheesy I might have to gag it all up again.” Harry raises a brow at Louis and fakes a disgusted face.

Harry and Louis calmy finish their meal and start heading towards Sorrento again, this time being less silent as the hour right before they took a break. Sorrento looked exactly like the Amalfi Coast, just a bit bigger and way more historical. Louis knew the place by heart, as he always used to discover the most random cities when he was bored and strangely fell in love with Sorrento out of nowhere. He showed Harry around the old historic town and added a few basic Italian historical knowledges when he had the chance to. When they arrived at the place where Harry was supposed to pick up some things, they dropped their bikes off and headed into the building. The building was old and had paintings hung on the walls, the ceiling was painted in an old Michelangelo-esque way. They went up to the counter where an old woman, probably in her 60s, sat down with a nail vile in her hands. She pointed them towards the very uncomfortable-looking chairs and told them to wait.

“Louis,” Harry softly said, “Don’t you think perhaps we-“

“We shouldn’t discuss it anymore, Harry”, Louis interrupts, “What’s done is done, I won’t do anything like that anymore. We’ll just move on, because at the end of the day, all we do is chit-chat and I’m okay with that.”

“That rhymed”, he chuckled.

-

When they came home from their quick trip to Sorrento, the table was already set for dinner and Louis’ parents were waiting for them to come home. Tonight’s debate, created thanks to Harry, was about the question if the New coke, launched by The Coca Cola Company in april, was a flop or not. Louis’ mom was a big New Coke lover whilst Louis’ dad quickly called the New Coke a big flop. Both started arguing the pro’s and cons to the debate and it was all just one big circus.

“What else could they have released _Tesoro_?”, his mom asked, “The Coca Cola Company is literally only known for their coke, so, by releasing their New Coke they tried to pull an even larger range of customers. They changed the formula, one that was convenient for picky people like me.”

“They TRIED but they failed. Their sales literally went up the first week because people were excited to taste the new product, but it turned out to be literally the same. I don’t know where you got the feeling that it was any different but the only thing that really changed is the packaging. Biggest flop of all time.”

Louis tried to join in, but as soon as he opened his mouth, his nose started bleeding. Louis was used to it, the hot weather always made Louis’ nose bleed. He excused himself and grabbed the first cold thing he could get in the freezer. He sat down on the floor next to the living room when Harry joined him,

“What a mess”, Harry claimed as he sat down next to Louis.

“You mean I’m a mess”, Louis replied as he pointed to his nose.

“Do you think it was my fault, the argument?”

“Oh please, are you really worrying about a debate escalating between my parents?”

Harry nodded.

“Well, you shouldn’t. Debates in the Tomlinson family are, well, messy. I think you’ve seen how the debate about Musollini never ended, right?”  
Louis puts his hand on Harry’s knee, they’re sitting way too close next to each other to even have room to put their hands somewhere else.

“You weren’t bleeding when that debate happened, though.”

“As I said, I’m the mess. I often get a bloody nose, I just have to lie down a bit and then everything will be okay.”

“Your wish is my command”, Harry looks at Louis and smiles sneakingly.

He takes Louis by the waist and puts him on his shoulders, Louis’ head hanging on his back. Louis is fighting back, yelling at him to “Put me down, you annoying debate-starting student”. Harry still manages to keep Louis on his back and to gently place him on the couch in the living room, next to the piano.

“You,” Harry points at Louis, that is making himself comfortable on the couch, “rest. I’ll play some music on the piano and I’ll stay around. Relax because I don’t want this future songwriter to be sick for the next few days.”

Harry starts to play some calm melodies on the piano and Louis tries to focus as much as he can on the handsome man in front of him, but he quickly falls asleep.

-

Louis wakes up at the sound of two familiar voices bickering next to him.  
“No, don’t wake him up, he needs to rest.”, he hears the first person say.

“But we have to talk”, the other replies, “it’s been a while since we actually hung out together.”

“Just wait until he wakes up Florence, Harry said he has been laying here for a while, so you won’t have to wait any longer.”

“Hmm, hi”, Louis wakes up and his tired voice makes the both of them turn around.

“Louis! Did we wake you up?”, Agnesia asks.

It looks like she just took a shower, her hair freshly curled with her vanilla scented shampoo. She was wearing a flowy blue dress with flowers on it, matched with her new white shoes she showed Louis a couple of days ago. Florence was wearing shorts and her frizzy hair was up in a bun, she looked like she was ready for a date.

“Kinda” Louis rubs his eyes and sits up, making some room for the two girls to sit on the couch with them, “You said we needed to talk?”

Florence shyly puts her left arm on her right elbow, “I miss you”, she shrugs, “I don’t know why so don’t ask me, but I really miss hanging out. I feel like I wasted my whole summer.” She sits next to Louis and puts her legs on Agnesia’s.

“We were wondering if we could hang out, just the three of us, for old times’ sake.”, Agnesia says as she puts her hands on Louis to warm up. As mid-august was coming soon, temperatures were dropping really fast in the afternoon.

“I miss it too” Louis puts his arms around both girls, “but I really can’t go out tonight, my mom is already worried if I’m sitting up instead of laying down after a heavy nosebleed.” 

“Okay, we’ll come over tomorrow then, I’ll plan a fun day with just the three of us.”

The girls left and Louis fell back to sleep.

-

When he woke up around dinner time, he noticed that their table was only set for 3 people. “Why are there only three plates?” He asks as he sees his mom in the kitchen, “Is dad in town?”

“No, Harry is. He told Florence when they came over that he wouldn’t be able to join us for dinner.”

Oh. He didn’t stick around.

“He gave me this though, told me he felt like you needed a new book to read.” Louis’ mom hands him _Invisible man_ , a novel written by Ralph Ellison. Good choice, Harry.

_The narrator of Invisible Man is a nameless young black man who moves in a 20th-century United States where reality is surreal and who can survive only through pretense. Because the people he encounters "see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination," he is effectively invisible._

As soon as his dinner with his mom and dad finishes, he spurts to his room, finds a comfortable spot, and starts reading. Harry’s book was amazing and Louis couldn’t stop reading, even when he felt like he was tired. Invisible man was about the narrator feeling like he gets ignored and overlooked just because he’s black. The social discussion in this book was worth pointing out and Louis loved reading intelligent, psychological books.

When Louis decides to go to sleep around 2AM, he hears footsteps approaching his room, revealing that Harry finally came home. Louis prepared himself to thank Harry and talk about the book, when Harry went into the bathroom. He showered, again, came out after a few minutes and when it felt like he entered Louis’ room, he closed both Louis’ door and his. He forgot about staying around for Louis.

-

Louis woke up early in the morning, ready for his day with Florence and Agnesia, when he noticed a small note on his desk.

_Meet me in the hallway at midnight. Miss talking._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOWWWWW it ended with a scene we all know from the movie AND a reference to mmith by Harry, but this was something I wanted to put in from the beginning (and I'm a cheeky person). Anyways, I hope you guys like the depth I keep putting into Louis' character, because he's really someone I want to shape as a round character. He isn't the little 18-year-old horny kid as the cmbyn-book portrays him to be. I love him to be honest :)
> 
> Let me know what you thought about this chapter,I always feel like i'm going to fast... so let me know what you think about it because I really need advice :) we'll see each other very soon for a chapter that we're all waiting for :)
> 
> I love you guys, stay safe!


	6. Chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !! soft smut !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year guys!!
> 
> I know it took A WHILE for me to publish this chapter and I had a few people dm'ing me about it on twitter... The thing is, I'm in the middle of my senior year of high school so I have a lot of projects to finish and adding this one in my deadlines is just impossible. I tried writing every weekend, finishing around 6AM every sunday... extremely hectic. I decided to post this chapter, and tell you guys that i'll probably post the next 2-3 chapters all at once around february-march... I'll try to finish this whole fic in March or in April since that's when everything kind of cools down.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter, it's the longest one yet. I really enjoyed making this and I hope you like it as much as I do.  
> I'd like to tell you guys that yes, it does look a lot like CMBYN which is the purpose, and yes I do put in a lot of book and song references but they're either explained in the fic or plugged in my spotify playlist. 
> 
> Enjoy!! <3

**8:00 AM**  
Louis woke up earlier than he normally does to go on a morning jog. Right after reading the note on his desk, all he could do was think about _miss talking_. Louis knew he told Harry that they shouldn’t talk about what happened _that_ night, but he knew that Harry, as stubborn as he is, would still decide to talk one day. But oh how evil Harry is to make Louis wait like that.

He woke up around 7:30 after having a weird dream about chasing Harry and Agnesia in a long hallway with his mom yelling at him – yeah Louis was also confused—and all he wanted to do was _actually_ run and forget about his dream. One day, when he got bored reading books, he looked through his mom’s old psychological books and he read that dreaming about certain people signifies that they cause you a certain feeling or anxiety. Just the thought of Agnesia or Harry causing him anxiety made Louis want to take a long morning jog.

**9:00AM**  
Louis came back to his parents preparing the breakfast table outside.   
“Louis, son, are you feeling better already?”, his mom asked when he came to help with the orange juice. “He went for a morning jog, _Amore_ , ‘m sure he wouldn’t go run around like a sick dog everywhere if he was still unwell…”, his dad mockingly replied.

Louis looked through the drawers for a watch so he could count down easier and found an incredibly old, navy blue kids watch his parents got him for his 13th birthday. It was actually hideous, and he knew it would be incredibly obvious but all he could care about was keeping an eye on the time. He put it on his left arm and covered it with his white and blue striped long sleeve. Helping his parents out for the first time in months was something Louis started missing. He could finally silently discuss the attitude of their _guest student_ with his parents without him being around. His parents loved Harry. They felt, just like Louis, that Harry was their best student yet. His dad described Harry like a hard worker and an open-minded guy while his mom described him like a sweetheart and called him “her little _dolce guancia_ ”. Louis even tried to get bad criticism from his parents, but they never let any bad word come out of their mouth when talking about Harry. It was pretty unusual from their parents to act like that, since they always had at least one bad thing to say about Louis’ surroundings, especially Stan. They always described Stan as ‘chaotic’ and ‘a bad influence for Louis’ because of their adventures but they always ended up inviting him over for dinner at the end of the day. His parents were the judgy kind of parents, but they loved their child and his surroundings more than any other parent.

“And you Louis”, his mom said, “what do you think about this year’s guest, not a bad one, eh?”

“He’s alright”, Louis joked, “I mean I can keep up with him, that’s already better than the mess that Pierre guy created last year”

“Oh Pierre, poor french Pierre, he was horrible… I wonder if he’s still doing something music-related”, his dad interrupted.

“I hope not”  
Pierre was a 25-year-old student Louis chose last year. He ended up being one of Louis’ worst choices ever since all he did was party and ignore Louis’ dad’s work. It was the only time Louis’ guts missed.

“Either way, we’re really happy you chose Harry this year, we thought you’d chose one of the 5 girls for once. Would be fun to have someone other than Agnesia around, wouldn’t it?” His dad raised a questioning eyebrow at Louis.

“Good...morning” Harry joined in.

Louis’ back raised immediately at the sound of Harry’s voice and he immediately eyed his dad to shut up about their guest student. They all sat down for breakfast, Harry sitting in front of Louis.   
“Nice watch” He smirked—and it was a big smirk.

“Hmm?” Louis almost choked on his scrambled eggs.

Harry looked at Louis’ left wrist where his rolled up long sleeve was revealing his watch and pointed it while looking back at Louis.

“Oh, that watch, yeah I found it in one of the drawers and I missed wearing one… You know, it’s always ummm fun to have something on your wrists.”

That came out wrong…

“I gave you that watch for your 13th birthday Louis, put that away it’s so old. You should’ve told me if you wanted a new one, I’ll get you one in town to-“

“No-“, Louis hastily said, “I missed this watch, I’ll only wear it for a short period of time, you don’t have to spend money on me, mom”

“But it’s hideous!”

Harry was blatantly smiling under his cup of tea, enjoying this moment of Louis clearly embarrassing himself with a kid’s watch.

“I like it”, Harry said when he put his cup down, “It’s a funny sight, but it suits him.”

“See, mum? Thank you. Someone enjoys my fashion.” Louis said as he jokingly shook Harry’s hand.

Though he completely failed his attempt at hiding his watch, he was glad he sort of let Harry know he read his note and that he was waiting for midnight. It couldn’t come sooner now.

“So, Louis, what are your plans for today?” Harry, again, tried to know if Louis read his note.

“Harry, I know you like hanging out with my son, but we don’t have time for outdoor activities, you’ll be tired after today.” His dad was already showing Harry the pile of work that was waiting for them.

“Tired, as in, he’ll be asleep before midnight?” Louis knew exactly what he was doing.

“We’ll see” Harry replied.

-

**11:00 AM**

Florence and Agnesia came to pick up Louis for their day out. Louis’ mom welcomed them home and Harry immediately greeted them and pointed out Louis’ watch. Agnesia and Florence were both very confused as to why he would wear a watch they hadn’t seen in years again. Louis told them he wanted to feel nostalgic for their day out and they went with his excuse—he’s a smart one.

“So” Louis says as he closes the door behind them, “What did you guys plan for our day out?”

“Well, we’re keeping it basic with our _nostalgia_ just like you… today we’re going back to our _pattinaggio_ days.”

Their pattinaggio days were the best days Louis ever spent in his whole life. They would wake up early in the morning, eat breakfast together and rush to the rollerskating rink in town called ‘ _Rotelle_ ’. It’s basic, and it’s past their age, but Louis was feeling nostalgic today.

“But”, Agnesia continued, “when we say nostalgia, we mean it. We’re taking back THE tradition”

“Let’s bring it on then I’m ready to take a trip down memory lane. If I’m not wrong, that means we start with taking the wrong bus, right?”

“Very funny,” Florence replied, “We took the wrong bus ONCE and you still didn’t forget it. I mean I guess it was my fault, but admit it, it was funny seeing Agnesia stress out about never coming home”

“I was 10 and scared.” She crossed her arms and pouted.

“Still doesn’t excuse the fact you were a cry baby, darling.”, Florence bumped her elbow against Agnesia and they started laughing all together.

“Either way, I was the lord and saviour in this story by hitching a ride. But on a more serious note, if we ignore the taking the wrong bus part, I’m assuming our next stop is the Russian food store?”

The girls nodded and they pulled Louis’ hand into the store. It was a nice, small shop owned by an old Russian lady, Louis reckons her name is Anastacia or Masha or perhaps Sasha… something Russian like that. They took the most random, cheapest food they saw and immediately bought it. 

“Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here” Agnesia said as she sat down and took one of the supplies out of the bag, “I have no idea what’s written on this, but I think it’s some kind of fish-thing?? I don’t know let’s just take one and eat it on the count of three”.

On the count of three, just like they agreed, they all took one and put it in their mouths, trying to swallow it as soon as possible. Louis closed his eyes, trying to picture a nice cake in his mouth. Agnesia was already next to the garbage bin, gagging the rest of the fish-scented saliva out of her mouth. Florence looked around and admitted she faked taking the fish since she feared the smell. “It’s been years and you guys are still bad at this game. I won, again.”  
“They will just never improve the food in their shops, will they?”, Agnesia raised an eyebrown

“As long as it smells as bad as it smells now, I won’t ever win.” Florence threw the fish away and hopped on her bike, “Next stop, the roller skate park.”

-

**3:00PM**

Agnesia left earlier than they had agreed because of an emergency so Louis and Florence finally had some time alone to talk. Their rollerskating—kind of couple+3rd wheel date-went amazing and Louis had fun with his two best friends again. Meeting Harry drove Louis and Florence apart and as much as he was happy he met him, it also annoyed him to lose Florence. 

“Be careful, Louis.” Florence looked around to be sure that Agnesia left.

“What do you mean?”

“Agnesia told me about your first time, she’s really happy.”

“It was amazing, I’m glad we both enjoyed it. I would hate myself if she wasn’t comfortable enough with me.”

“She’s really comfortable with you, and that’s why I’m telling you to be careful. I know we didn’t drift apart just like that, I may have really bad common knowledge, but I can see when something is happening. I don’t know how you’re feeling, but all I know is that I’m not the summer love that Harry is having right now. He won’t look back at this summer and think about me, I’ve accepted it.”

She puts her hand on his knee and Louis feels like she knows more than what it looks like, “I’m not against whatever is happening, but I am against you hurting her. She’s someone important to the both of us and we can’t lose her. She’s already attached to you, and I know you are too, but not like her. Please, just think about it and be careful.”

She’s right, he loves Agnesia, he should be careful since all she does is show her vulnerability to him. She’s been there for him ever since they were kids, and he can’t risk losing another friend. He’s stuck in between staying friends or repeating their make-out-in-the-dark routine. She’s a beautiful woman and she deserves to be loved by him.

When Louis was about to open his mouth, Stan stormed into the skate park: “I knew you’d be here when you told me you were going to hang out with Florence, you guys are so mean to forget to invite THE rollermaster, so I invited him myself. Louis, you look much better than when we lastly saw each other. You guys talked, am I right?”

He was referring to his talk he had to have with Harry, but luckily Florence thought it was about her. For once her selfishness had a positive purpose, “Yes, we talked. Louis and I are okay right now, I’m glad we can all hang out like the old times again.”

Stan eyed Louis and both knowingly smirked at her self-centrism, it was adorable. Stan nodded and proceeded to talk to them about the amazing date he had with Hannah last night and how he almost broke his arm—again. 

-

**5:00PM**

Time went by way too slow, the day felt like it lasted hours and hours. In the past few hours that went by, he hung out with Florence and Stan, took his daily nap and met up with Agnesia again. She had just taken a shower when they met up in Louis’ house. She whispered in his ear that she wanted him to take her to his favourite room in the house and she silently stroked around his torso with her finger. They rushed through every room in the house when Louis took her to his little hiding spot behind the library. The library had a secret spot, behind a bookshelf that revealed a small room with a couch and some books. Louis used to hide in there when he didn’t want to be around any of the guests and he probably read over 15 books in the small, little couch. She looked around, astonished by the cosiness of the space, and she immediately threw him on the couch as she took off her dress. Louis was kind of getting addicted by the little games he and Agnesia played and he longed for her every time she left, he felt like a kid yet and adult when he was around her and every scent reminded him of her soft hair brushing against her neck.

**7:00PM**

They woke up, arms still wrapped around each other, by the sound of the guests arriving in Louis’ house. His mother invited her newly-illegally-wedded gay friends from high school. They were amazingly cute, and words couldn’t explain how much everyone loved them together. They repeat the story of how they met every single time, but Louis adored it. They met at each other’s theatre club when they were 15, both passionate about Shakespeare. Nobody knew anything about them, as they were both still in the closet in a very homophobic 60s. They were affectionate with each other but told everyone they were just friends and that this was all just ‘one amazing bromance’. They had girl best friends and they immediately understood what was happening between the two. One of them was Louis’ mom, she helped _Giorgio_ , one of the men, when rumours started spreading of him being gay. Eventually, when they were seniors, they gave up and told everyone about their relationship. They lost friends, had people look at them like they were two mentally ill men, and teachers made them fail on purpose. They fought for their rights and are still fighting to this day. They married each other in secret, and it’s not official, but their love is bigger than a small official piece of paper.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay over for dinner?”, Louis asked when he saw Agnesia pack her bag.

“I had fun today, but I’m really tired since I didn’t nap today” she winked, “… Call me?”

Louis nodded and she gave him a kiss on the cheek before she hopped on her bike.

“Giorgio, François, welcome!” His mom was already joyfully screaming.

“Signorina! We missed you so much, it’s been so long!”, François said, he still had his little French accent, even after all those years.

“And Louis, what a pleasure to see you again, you grew up to be such a handsome man.”, Giorgio was messing up Louis fringe.

“He has it from his dad”, François teased.

-

Louis noticed how there were only 5 plates on the dinner table and when he asked where the 6th was, his mother replied with a soft smirk before saying “busy, amore.”

Was Harry even going to come home at midnight or was he going to be late, just like when he told Louis he’d ‘stay around’?   
Either way, Louis would be waiting for him and he’ll keep himself entertained until he’s there.

When Louis’ parents started talking about things he didn’t care about, he excused himself, took the book Harry gave him and went to their stargazing place. Sitting on the grass where he and Harry had so much late-night talks all alone was weird but reading the book Harry picked for him filled the little gap.

He opened the book to where he read it last night on page 128 and he re-read the words he highlighted. He loved doing this after every book he ever bought, because these are quotes that describe the book and its content.

_“I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves or figments of their imagination, indeed, everything and anything except me.”_

The sadness one must feel when he writes this. The Invisible Man was lonely and felt ignored and perhaps the author felt the same. Reading this sentence over and over again, all alone, while being in the dark felt utterly satisfying to Louis. Invisible man was a book of self-discovery and self-love and that’s exactly what Louis needed.

10:00PM

Harry was still nowhere to be found when Louis finished his book. When he turned the last page of the book, he found a hand-written note, probably written by Harry.

_  
Read when done_

_I hope you enjoyed The Invisible Man as much as I did. I know I never opened up to you, and I hope that by the time you’re done with this book I already did,_

He didn’t. Yet.

_but this book was one of the first one’s I read when I left my mom’s house. I came in my dorm after one of my first lessons in uni and all I could do was relate to every quote. I felt invisible and felt like no one ever appreciated my talent. During the three years I studied there, I kept taking the book with me wherever I went. I thought it would bring me luck and help people appreciate what I did._

_And here it did,_

_it’s now yours._

Louis closed the book and went back inside to enjoy some company, but he couldn’t put the book away. Harry was a strange person, and Louis would’ve loved to get to know him better, because from what he read, Harry was a complex and vulnerable person. There were less than two weeks left before Harry would take the plane back to America. As surprising-not that surprising- as it was, Louis cared more about Harry leaving then he ever did with any of the guests. He’ll miss playing monopoly with his ‘I’m so smart and manipulative’ moves. From what Louis knows he’ll even miss Harry mocking Americans.

His parents were sitting, perhaps half drunk, on the couch with the guests and when Louis came back inside they all chanted “KARAOKE TIME”…great. They bought a special karaoke machine last summer for his mom’s birthday and they didn’t even use it without Louis. His dad used to complain about the difficult instructions while his mom was calling him a “Stupido Inglese”. It was hectic whenever Louis wasn’t around.   
They decided to sing along to Prince’s “controversy”-again- and perhaps his parents took over some of Harry’s musical choices because he could have sworn they used to hate Prince. Giorgio and François were extremely drunk and overplayed Prince’s verses, but it made it that much more enjoyable. They sang to each other, serenated a few heartfelt lip syncs to each other, danced like no one was around. They were the cheesiest couple ever, and if Louis didn’t know them he’d throw up, but he admired them. To go through such lengths, just to be with the person you love, is all Louis needs to see.   
Louis’ parents put on Louis’ favourite song, _Love My Way_ by The Psychedelic Furs and at the first few notes Louis immediately jumped out of the couch and started screaming the lyrics:  
 _There's an army on the dance floor_

_It's a fashion with a gun, my love_

_In a room without a door_

_A kiss is not enough in_

“Ok here’s my favourite moment”, Louis screamed.

And as he put his hands up, he ran around the room like a headless chicken and sang:

“ _Love my way, it's a new road  
I follow where my mind goes _”

He continued jumping up and down when he continued the next verse and his parents joined him along the way, the guests still trying to find a way to blend in too. The moment just felt so vivid and ever single hour of his day had been wonderful.  
He continued to scream the lyrics to the song into the karaoke microphone when he suddenly felt a presence dancing right next to him. Dark brown hair, vanilla-scented perfume, blue swimming shorts, green eyes. Harry came home. Louis kept dancing, trying to hide the fact that his cheeks were strangely warming up, and looked at his watch.

**11:30PM**

Louis’ heart started racing at the sight of his watch, he had waited this whole day and Harry was home, which means he tried his best to come on time. He turned around and saw a fresh Harry singing along and dancing even crazier than Louis. His feet were all over the place, throwing an invisible object in the air every time he kicked his feet in a random direction. His hands were mimicking Louis’ and they both synced up. Harry was throwing his long locks in the air and screamed “You know how much I love this song?” while his parents replied: “So does Louis”. Harry immediately smirked back, his dimples carving perfectly shaped moons next to his mouth, “ ‘Course he does”.

The bridge quickly changed into the end of the song and Louis wished the song lasted longer because he wanted to taste what Harry’s smirk felt like just a few seconds longer. The song ended and Harry turned around, apologising for entering so abruptly without welcoming the guests first. He said he couldn’t handle seeing Louis sing his favourite song all alone--what a gentleman. The guests immediately loved Harry and they all started asking questions when Harry excused himself and told them he was exhausted and that he should take a shower. He greeted everyone good night and looked one last time at Louis to make sure he had read his note. Louis still had around 25 minutes before midnight, so he decided to play the piano, since he knew Harry would hear it too, even if he closed his bedroom door. His parents and the guests were quite pleased at Louis’ voluntarily choice to play. They sat around the piano and just enjoyed how Louis’ small fingers strolled on the tiles. He was starting to enjoy playing music as much as he enjoyed hearing it himself, and Louis finally felt like he was growing in the steps of his dad. 

-

**11:55PM**

5 more minutes.   
He quickly finished his last note of _purple rain_ and he acted like he was the most tired person ever. He closed the piano and rubbed his eyes, stretched a little bit and said: “Well, mom, dad, Giorgio, François, I’m afraid I have to go to sleep now. I had a long day, but I enjoyed being around you. Thank you for coming tonight. Mom, dad, I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast. Good night”. He kissed his parents, that were questioning while he acted so weird, and he immediately rushed upstairs, using the last few minutes to prepare himself. 

Louis had no idea why he was freaking out that much over a simple note. All he knew was that Harry wanted to talk, privately, since he told Louis’ parents that he was going to sleep. Something about secretly meeting up gave Louis a warm feeling around the stomach and his cheeks. He quickly put on another white t-shirt and he sat on his bed, watching his watch slowly tick midnight. Harry was already out of his room, probably on the balcony. When Midnight turned into 00:01, Louis was still on his bed, trying to avoid what he had been waiting for all day. 00:02, 00:03, 00:04, Louis just stayed in the same position. He heard footsteps approaching Harry’s room when he finally opened the door of his room and stared at a confused Harry.

“You came”, Harry looked up.

“Of course I did” Louis showed Harry his watch as they both chuckled louder than they should.

“A bit late, innit?”

“Fashionably late I shall call it” Louis closed his door and walked closer to where Harry was standing.

Harry was looking down but the smile was clearly visible, a warm shock sliding against louis’ cheeks, again. He was wearing one of his sleeping trousers and a white t-shirt, accidentally matching with Louis. Both were quietly standing in an awkward position, waiting for the other one to talk. Harry tilted his head as a sign of leading Louis to their shared balcony. His parents were greeting the guests goodbye as Harry asked Louis:

“The guests, are they, together?”

“If you mean together as in they fuck each other, yes, they are.” Louis indiscreetly says.

“They make quite a good pair from the few minutes that I’ve seen them.” Harry puts his arms on the edge of the balcony and turns his whole body in Louis’ direction.

“They’re soulmates. I used to get annoyed by them, found them too cheesy, but I soon realised that’s what makes them such a good pair.”  
Both shook their heads, agreeing what a great pair they are and stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Lou”, Harry softly said. It was the first time someone called him like this, he had all kinds of nicknames, but no on ever called him Lou. He didn’t even know if he liked it.

“, look I’m sorry. I know you said we shouldn’t talk about it, and then you had your whole rhyming chit-chat speech, but I don’t feel comfortable not apologising for what happened. I panicked, you know. I don’t have your kind of family. My mother would’ve never invited two gay men in her home, let alone even befriended them. I-I love her, Lou, I really do. But the words that come out of her mouth are just so” Harry is shaking his head in frustration.

“Wrong?”, Louis finishes Harry’s sentence, “I get it.”

“I know you do”, Harry quickly chuckles before dropping it again, “But I fucked it up. It all just happened so quick and before I knew what was happening it all just felt like my head was exploding. It felt like I was Pearl Harbour on December 7th 1941, you know, like, completely destroyed.”

Louis couldn’t help but ask: “was I Japan?”

Harry smiled and continued, “You kind of were, but in a good way. Eventually, I wanted to apologise, and I waited that whole night for you to come home. When I realised you weren’t, I thought you might be at your hiding places.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Yeah, that I found out, but I just decided to wait. I’m a coward so I never really knew when I should, and when I tried, well, it was kind of an inappropriate time.”

Harry looked at Louis’ mom waving the guests goodbye, clearly drunk. His feet were approaching Louis’ and before Louis could even notice, Harry came closer to him.

“What I wanted to say was” Harry was looking into Louis’ eyes and, even if there wasn’t any light other than the moon reflecting on them, Louis could sense Harry’s cheeks being as warm as his have been. His mouth was open and he was searching for his words, trying to express himself. Before Louis could even ask what he was trying to say, he felt a large presence of a hand near his hips, pulling him closer to Harry’s waist and he felt the other hand on his left cheek. Harry placed his lips on Louis’, tilting his head and carefully stroking Louis’ neck. Shivers were running across Louis’ body and he closed his eyes, remembering the time they kissed on the grass. This time, Harry was guiding where Louis’ tongue was going, and all Louis did was follow him. Louis felt Harry’s hand grabbing his waist tighter as he placed his own hips right in front of Louis’. For a small second, Harry stopped kissing him, trying to figure out if Louis was consenting, and both their eyes locked as Louis said: “again.” Harry didn’t hesitate a second and he pulled Louis closer to him, walking away from the balcony where Louis’ parents could’ve seen them. They walked inside Harry’s room, lips still locking like a diary lock. They weren’t focussing on where they stepped, which caused Louis to trip over one of Harry’s swimming trunks, the red one. His feet made a loud banging noice on the wooden floor and they immediately stopped kissing as Louis put his hands on his mouth, trying to be as silent as possible.

“Louis, _amore_ , is that you?” His mother asked with a preoccupied tone.

Louis put his hands on his head, trying to find an excuse as fast as possible while Harry was trying to hold his laugh in. “Umm, yeah, I dropped a book, I’m sorry.”

“A book, really?” Harry whispered as he chuckled.

“Oh, okay, I hope you didn’t wake Harry up, he seemed tired.”

Louis looked at a clearly replenished, laughing Harry. He was putting his hand on his mouth, mimicking a very tired person. 

“I hope I didn’t, good night mom” Louis put his hand on Harry’s hips, causing a giant shiver in his body. As his mom closed her bedroom door, Harry looked at Louis and poutingly said: “You woke me up, _amore_.”

“Shut it,” Louis pushed Harry while scanning the rest of his room. The room was a lot messier than when Louis lastly saw it. The postcard was still somewhere on the desk, his clothes were all over the place, only his bed was completely cleaned and made, “your messy room is what caused it.” 

Harry’s hard smile turned into a soft smirk as he excused himself, “ m sorry, I’ve been a mess lately, I’ll clean it up tomorrow.”

“Please,” Louis put his hand on Harry’s shoulder, “I couldn’t care less about a messy room, mine is even worse.”

“Yeah, I saw that yesterday” Harry rolled his eyes, “no room to even walk around.”

Louis ignored Harry’s words and nodded with a small “hmm”, gently pulling Harry’s shirt and kissing him again. Louis looked one last time at Harry, that was already closing his eyes, touched his nose and leaned in to let both of their lips touch each other. Their feet couldn’t stand their small steps anymore and both fell on the bed as soon as they knew it was next to them. Louis could feel the weight of Harry’s body on his’ and he could smell his Chamomile-scented shampoo that he’d seen in their shower for so long. Louis wanted to feel Harry, feel every part close to him. Harry’s feet were touching Louis’ and as their toes calmly waited for a direction, Louis started tangling them around Harry’s. Harry felt soft, clean, and his feet didn’t change that either. As Louis continued tangling their toes, Harry looked up at him, stared at their toes, looked back at Louis and burst out in a silent laugh:  
“Foot-fetish, mister Tomlinson? I didn’t know you were that kind of g-hmm”.  
He couldn’t even finish his sentence before Louis already grabbed his chin again, longing for a kiss as if they hadn’t just kissed a second ago. “Shut up” was all that came out of Louis’ mouth as he started pulling on Harry’s shirt. “Off?” Harry asked, before he replied to himself saying: “Off, off, off.” Harry ripped off his shirt and dropped it on the chair next to his desk, making all the paperwork fall off it. Louis lay down on the bed, hands on the back of his head, watching Harry undress. As Harry was unzipping his shorts, Louis bent forward “Let me do it.” His gentle hands passed against Harry’s bulge, making both shiver. Harry’s legs were spread on the bed as he waited for Louis to take his belt off, his hands carefully going through Louis’ hair. The belt flew across the room, being tossed as quick as possible by Louis, who was now taking off his own shirt. He put his hand on Harry’s chest as he pushed him on the end of the bed, making Harry’s head tilt down. Louis’ hand was right next to Harry’s shoulders, when Louis put his whole body weight on Harry’s waist. 

“Are you sure you want to-“, Louis started questioning Harry “I want all of it, Louis.” Harry confirmed. Louis humped on Harry’s waist as he ran his fingers through Harry’s hair. Harry was biting his lip, looking at how hot Louis looked on top of Harry, moonlight shining on the left side of his face. Louis pulled his face closer to Harry’s, licking the curve in Harry’s nose first, quickly switching to attack his neck right after. Harry shivered as Louis put his first bite in his neck, accidentally putting his arm on the nightstand. A small object on his nightstand fell on the floor and started playing music. 

“Shit” Harry whispered, “, you got me so surprised I kicked the radio. Should we turn it off first?”. Louis was still putting kisses on Harry’s neck, “No. Don’t care, just want you.”  
Harry smiled and said: “Mmkay” as he put his hand on Louis’ neck.

[ Hungry eyes from Eric Carmen was playing. ](https://open.spotify.com/track/31H6au3jhblhr6MMJiXnCq?si=R9kbY0fWR--UPkKr6clM5Q)

_I've been meaning to tell you_

_I've got this feelin' that won't subside_

_I look at you and I fantasize_

_You're mine tonight_

_Now I've got you in my sights_

Louis glided his fingers against the spots he had just bitten Harry on, looking proud at it as if he had just sold his own artwork. Harry’s fingers were still holding Louis’ neck when he pulled their faces close to each other and bit Louis’ bottom lip closer to his’. Their tongues slowly intertwined, searching for each other, while both released small huffs of breath. Louis put his chest closer to Harry’s, softly caressing Harry’s relaxed shoulders. Harry’s body was soft, and smelled like his coconut bodywash, just like Louis thought. Harry’s hands were now guiding Louis’ hips, dry humping on top of him. “You’re tempting me, aren’t you” Harry said, lips still close to each other. Louis’ hips were pressing harder against Harry’s bulge, “Am I?”.

_I've got hungry eyes_

_I feel the magic between you and I_

The desire running in Harry’s heart was stronger than his mind, taking Louis’ hips and pushing himself forward as Louis was now laying on the bed, seeing Harry on top of him. Harry was taking deep breaths, enjoying the sight of Louis scanning Harry’s body. He kissed Louis’ neck, slowly sliding down as he licked every body part he was passing. He came down to Louis’ nipples, hard even with the hot weather, and looked up as he kissed one of them. Louis released a soft moan and pulled Harry’s hair harder. Satisfied at Louis’ reaction, Harry continued to do the same steps to the other nipple, passing his tongue up and down on the small nipple. Louis’ breathing rate was increasing as Harry now pressed small, long kisses next to his belly button. “so” Harry was kissing under Louis’ belly button, coming closer to where his shorts were, “gorgeous”. His hands were pulling Louis’ shorts down, his mouth still sucking the skin next to Louis’ hips. “Harry…” Louis moaned, “please”. Harry looked up at the sight of a panting Louis putting his fingers in his own hair, begging. 

_I want to show you what love's all about_

_Darlin' tonight_

_Now I've got you in my sights_

Louis’ white boxers were perfectly contrasting his tan skin, revealing Louis having a hard one even with them just kissing. Harry understood Louis’ begging and removed Louis’ underwear even faster, saying goodbye to the hot contrast of the white boxers and the tanned skin. After a small few teases of Harry’s lips kissing Louis’ thighs and a lot of Louis’ soft begging, Harry kissed the tip of Louis’ cock and caressed the inside of Louis’ thighs. Louis moaned at the touch and he put his hand on Harry’s shoulder, massaging him and pinching just a little bit harder when Harry stopped teasing. Harry was being careful, slowly kissing every part, not forgetting one part. His mouth on Louis’ cock felt like a tongue against cotton candy that was slowly melting. Louis was already sweating. His breath, that was so even until now, running up. 

_With these hungry eyes_

_One look at you and I can't disguise_

“Harry,’ Louis pulled him close, “you’re so good, so. so..” He kissed Harry, their hips rolling into each other, “worth everything.” Harry smiled and kissed Louis one more time, biting his bottom lip and pulling it for a second, immediately going back to Louis’ hips. Louis thighs were twitching as he called Harry again, “I’m almost th-“, and before he could even say it Harry reached it. Louis’ moan quickly followed as Harry finished Louis’ sentence proudly “there.” 

-

Louis woke up to a source of heat pressing against his chest, legs wrapped around something even warmer. His eyes were still closed as his nose started tickling, the recognisable smell of sweat and vanilla. Harry’s face was buried in his neck, his left hand pressed on Louis’ chest and his right hand holding his own cheek. Louis opened his eyes and stared at the open window next to him, opened yesterday right after both Harry and Louis finished on each other, cleaning it up with a blue shirt Harry never wore. The sky was a rosy-orange colour, letting Louis know it was probably 5-6AM. He took Harry’s hand and placed it next to his other hand, calmly removing his face from Louis’ chest. Harry shivered, making Louis turn around to check if he had woken him up, but Harry turned around and fell back to sleep. Louis picked up some clean-looking socks on the ground and put them on since their wooden floor was always cold in the morning. He entered the bathroom, took his clothes off, and went in the shower.

Louis felt disgusting and dirty after his night with Harry. Words couldn’t explain why or how he started feeling this, but all Louis wanted to do was stay in the shower the whole day, removing every skin cell Harry touched yesterday. He scrubbed his legs, arms, chest, stomach, feet, hands, washed his hair at least 3 times, but nothing helped. Every time he came out of the shower, he still felt weird and out of place. It’s not even the fact that he finally had sex with _Harry_ , it’s more the fact that he _finally_ had sex with Harry, cummed in front of him, let him lick the leftover cum that his shirt didn’t remove. It was all done, he had nothing to wait for anymore. Louis’ dirty feeling was the fact that he knew things were starting to be boring again, he was back to a normal life. Harry and him would act like nothing happened and that’s okay, because he’ll leave in a week.

Louis walked into his own room when he heard a familiar voice waking up. “Louis?” Harry asked, footsteps approaching the bathroom. Louis opened the door, standing only around 40 inches away from a butt-naked Harry, “I was—” his eyes scanning Harry’s whole body, staying around Harry’s navel, “showering. Woke up an hour ago”. Harry smirked, definitely knowing why Louis took a small break in his sentence. He put one hand on the doorframe and the other on his hip, flexing his muscles even more, “I know, I heard you dropping my shampoo bottles,” He arranged Louis’ fringe, “I was wondering if you wanted to swim in the lake before breakfast. We still have 2 hours left.”

Louis hesitantly shook his head, “I don’t know, I’m still a bit tired.” Harry chuckled, thinking Louis meant that he got destroyed. “You’ll be tired every morning then, so let’s just start a routine of after-sex skinny dipping, ok?”. Louis’ heart jumped a bit, cheeks turning bright red immediately at the thought of them making this a routine, “if a routine is what we have to build up, then I’m down with being tired every time, let’s go.”  
That this would become a routine wasn’t a big surprise to Louis, he still felt like things would get boring soon.

-

Harry and Louis ran both very quietly to the lake, having only a towel around them. Harry ran behind Louis, checking him out, while Louis ran as fast as he could. On their way to the lake, Harry puffingly spoke some words but Louis didn’t hear him and chose to ask about it later. The lake was reflecting the beautiful morning sky, making it a beautiful place to swim in. Birds were chirping songs on the trees, some horses were on the other side of the lake, where a small farm is situated, drinking the water. Louis took off his shoes and towel and jumped immediately into the water, “You didn’t even let me enjoy the sight of your body before you covered it in the lake?” Harry pouted. Louis rolled his eyes and began swimming away. The lake was cold, yet enjoyable thanks to the hot weather, and Harry’s red bathing suit turned dark red as the water touched it. Harry hadn’t worn his red bathing suit since the day he massaged Louis’ shoulder, the day where Louis reacted like a scared dog that ran away from his abusing owner. 

Harry and Louis swam apart for a few minutes until Louis started feeling the presence of a hand on his tummy. His body twitched, like it always has when Harry touched him. As he turned around, he noticed that Harry had put his legs over Louis’ waist, being now glued to Louis’ back like a panda around his bamboo. “Harry- what are you doing?” Louis tried to remove Harry, struggling because of how muscled Harry is. Harry smiled lightly and put his head on Louis’ shoulder, “Nothing, just enjoying the moment”.  
“Enjoying the moment?” Louis scoffed, “You look like a child”. Harry’s arms tensed and he slowly let go of Louis’ body, “Alright then, you’re a grumpy one in the morning, huh?” He turned around and swam away. “oh come on Harry, I was joking” and Louis threw water at Harry, causing the both of them to have a water fight, pushing each other’s head into the water like kids. Louis took Harry by the waist and threw him in the water like a real martial arts fighter. When Harry’s head wasn’t coming out of the water as fast as it normally did, Louis started panicking, being scared he hurt Harry. “umm, Harry? Harry? Come on,” he nervously scoffed, “this isn’t funny, get out of there, Harry?” He tried to pull Harry’s head out of the water when Harry jumped out of it, spitting the water he had in his mouth on Louis’ face, “I got you” he started laughing hysterically, ”you were so scared, so cute, I could literally hear you’re stressed out voice in the water.” Louis put his hands on Harry’s shoulders, “You’re an asshole” and as their faces were close to each other, they bumped their noses together and went in for a small kiss, completely ignoring each other’s morning breaths. For a small second, Louis was forgetting the thoughts running through his mind. Harry’s lips were soft and he guided where Louis’ tongue needed to be. With their lips brushing each other lightly, Louis woke up from his daydreaming and pulled himself off Harry. Their eyes locked and Harry had a questioning “Why are you leaving?” look. 

“We should go home, it’s almost time for breakfast. Don’t want my parents to worry, you know?” Louis got out of the water, dried himself off with his t-shirt and put his shoes on. Harry stayed in the water for a few seconds, watching Louis rush home. 

-

Even though Harry took his time to come out of the water, he came home quickly after Louis, their eyes meeting again right before they get into their separate bedrooms. Louis dropped his clothes on the floor, put on a new pair of trunks and immediately went to his bed. Yesterday was an exhausting day. His 2+1 date with Florence and Agnesia mixed his late-afternoon date with Agnesia, the guests, and of course Harry, it was all exhausting. His eyes started to close when he heard Harry call him, “Louis, could you come over for just one small second?”   
Louis immediately stood up and opened his bathroom door. Harry was standing at the same position than this morning, his hands still on the doorframe. He eyed Louis up and down, smirked at him as he slowly removed his hands from the doorframe, coming closer to Louis’ new trunks. “New?” Harry asked, Louis immediately nodding. “They look good on you”, his hands were now close to Louis’ cock, removing the double knot Louis had just made between the two strings. Harry was now on his knees, ignoring Louis’ small “wh—what are you—”. As Harry successfully removed Louis trunks, he placed his hands on Louis’ butt, his mouth coming closer. At his touch, Louis’ memory got pushed back to last night, when he came as soon as Harry even just touched the parts next to his rim. The memory of their night made him hard, making Harry pull away as he places his hands on the doorframe again, “Good to know.” He smiled and closed the door, leaving a butt-naked Louis standing alone in the bathroom.

-

“There is some paperwork that’s been printed out in town that needs to be collected” Louis’ dad said while he was putting some butter on his freshly toasted bread. “It’s in the _biblioteca pubblica_ on the coast, you know where that is right?”  
“I think so” Harry nodded, “I’m just finishing my drink and then I’ll depart.”

Louis was looking at his plate full of fruit and his strawberry ham sandwich, contemplating whether he should go with Harry or not, but even before he could decide what he was doing today, Harry had already taken Vimini’s bike. He took some grapes in his right hand and his sandwich in the other and rushed to get his shoes.

-

The coast was at least 30 minutes away from Louis’ home, making it easy for Louis to catch up with Harry. It was a sudden decision, to pass next to Agnesia’s house and continue following Harry rather than stopping by. She was probably already awake, taking a shower, waiting for the right time to call Louis. Stopping by would’ve made her happy and they could’ve spent the whole day together, but that same day could now also maybe be spent with Harry.

Harry was just getting out of the library, hands full with paperwork and new books, when he looked up and saw Louis.

“Hi” Louis placed his bike next to Harry’s.

“What are you doing here?” Harry’s voice seemed genuinely surprised, almost quite happy.

“Dunno, really. Just wanted to see you, I can always leave if you have something else planned with um… Florence, I mean, it’s like… totally okay if you do” He shook his head, “Yeah, you’re right, this, this was stupid” he cuffed, “I should leave.”

“Louis” Harry laughed.

“I know, I know, weird and stupid idea of me.”

“I’m glad you came. I was actually heading to the telephone cabinet to call home and ask if you could come over and help me. So, I’m glad you’re here.”

“You don’t have to be like this out of pity with me, Harry. You were already nice enough last night, it’s okay.”

Harry started hysterically laughing, making Louis nervously laugh with him, “Louis,” He took his arm and went to a less public area, “I didn’t plan a whole midnight _rendez-vous_ with you just out of pity. Last night was exactly how I wanted it to be.”

“But it doesn’t make sense” Louis removed Harry’s hand from his elbow, “I get it, your head had this whole “Pearl Harbour” moment, but you literally pushed me away and called me sick. I thought you were just trying to make me forgive you.”

“Is that why you’ve been acting so weird since this morning?” Harry’s eyebrows arched, “I thought you were just hungry, but it’s a whole different story.”

“Well, yes and no. I guess a part of me was just feeling weird about yesterday. I’ve never—”

“Felt something for a man?” Harry tried to complete Louis’ sentence, “I had that too.”

“never slept with someone in my own room” Louis corrected him, “already experienced the other thing. I mean I was 13, but yeah, I already had that moment in my life… wasn’t the best of times to discover feelings but it just happened.”

“Do your parents know about it?” They sat down on a bench in a small park, one of the only places the tourists didn’t hang out in. 

“Never said anything, they don’t even know Nicollo. Do yours?”

“I wish my mom didn’t know anything” Harry silently said, “I know I’ve been very silent on this. The story between my mom and I, well, it’s never been easy. We had our ups and downs like all teenagers do. But then one day I came home, and it was all gone. My mom had no respect for me anymore.”

“But how? She’s your mom, she should be the first one to accept who you are.” Louis was already frustrated.

“That’s not how it works, at least not a few years ago. Remember the story about my notebook? I kind of changed the ending of my story. The guy wasn’t the only one that was waiting in front of my door… my mom was there too. He showed her my notebook and especially the pages that were about him. His name was Benjamin and we played soccer together, extremely basic I know. We were casually hanging out, all together with our other teammates. We shared a lot of classes, so he was always around, I guess that’s how we got into my locker, since he probably saw the code a thousand times. So anyways, I came home, and they were both waiting there for me, looking extremely pissed. My mom let Benjamin talk to me first and I already knew it was going to be about the notebook when I saw him hiding his hands. They… we’re rough.”

Harry was starting to shake his right leg as a way to cope with his stress, something he had told Louis a while ago when they were stargazing.

“He called me sick” Harry wanted to re-phrase his sentence, “well, you know, I said it too, but I think that’s where it came from… I don’t know. He told me I didn’t belong in the soccer team and that he talked to the coach. I got kicked out of the team the following day. He ripped out every page about him and threw it in my face, telling me to stop being obsessed with him. I still don’t understand to this day what was so obsessive about finding him beautiful. And then my mom… she was so disappointed in me.”

Louis put his hand on Harry’s leg, trying to calm it as much as he could, still listening to Harry’s story. 

“She told me to get in the house, since it was starting to rain, and I already looked sick after Benjamin’s words. We sat down around our dining table, completely silent for at least 5 minutes. I was shivering and snicking, and I knew that it annoyed her even more. She was the kind of person to get annoyed at someone for breathing too loudly, ha” he nostalgically laughed, “I speak from experience. Anyways, back to the story. She looked at me the whole time but all I could do was stare at my notebook and the ripped-out pages. I re-read them at least three times, analysing every word, until my mom finally spoke. She told me to burn the notebook and to bury my ‘sick’ thoughts with them. She was actually quite calm, if I’m being honest. I think she knew I couldn’t handle more yelling. She told me there was still time to save me, that I could still be the little boy she put on the planet. She told me about some kind of conversion camp or something, told me it was near Manchester and that I could go there in the summer right before uni. She took flyers about those camps out of her bag and placed them in front of me and practically begged me to choose one of them. It’s only when I refused to follow her stupid plan that she started to yell.”

While Harry started to tell Louis all about his mom’s bad reaction, Louis tried to get closer to Harry, putting an arm around him. Harry interrupted himself as he said “Louis, we’re not alone” and pushed Louis’ arm away.  
He continued explaining every detail, going from the moment his sister walked into their fight, from her ignoring Harry to the day he decided he wanted to leave the house,

“It was all just getting too much. My mom and my sister were both still disappointed and they thought I was just “acting rebellious” by not going to their therapy. So, one day when I thought things were starting to become normal again, they invited some guests over. I got so happy, because I was always glad to meet new people. We all drank tea together, had a fun monopoly-evening, and yes I beat all of them—”

“Why am I not surprised, master-manipulator” Louis interrupted, bumping his elbow into Harry’s waist.

“I’m glad you aren’t, I’d like you to know I’m the best monopoly player.” He grinned and wet back to the essential of his story, “Turns out they were my mom’s friends from conversion camp, trying to make me go with them. They turned they back at me, again. That’s when I realised they’d never change. So, the following morning, when everyone was searching for uni’s next to Manchester, I decided to look up American colleges and that’s when I knew I wanted to do something with music. I know I look very passionate, but I’ve always wanted to be a veterinary when I was a kid. But turns out I’m scared of animal blood.” 

Harry was starting to talk about other things than his main story, making it extremely hard for Louis to not fond over his little eyebrow raises every time he changed his storyline into another storyline.

“I think you’d be a handsome veterinary, doctor Styles…Looks good on you.” Louis was adjusting Harry’s polo, “or maybe a businessman, or a lawyer, or maybe even a fireman.”

“Are you saying that because I’d look good in their working clothes? Do you have a suits-kink?” Harry was fondly smiling.

“I’m saying that because you’d be smart enough for every kind of job, you’re really cocky, aren’t you?”

“I’m alright—I would definitely look hot in a suit though. You’d develop a suit kink if you don’t already have one.” Harry’s hand was running through Louis’ hair.


End file.
